2 Kings 2
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
|“2 Kings 2”|
|← Previous||Next →||← Previous||Next →|
|1 Kings||1 Chronicles||2 Kings 1||2 Kings 3|
Elikhat Tha Robot Goes To Heaven
1 Omg so Ceiling Cat waz bout 2 take da robot in2 heaven rite? but not his pal! n his pal neva nooo tht he was goin 2 heavn by a tornado btw. so da robot n his pal were wokin
2 Da robot sed 2 his pal "plz stay here cuz Ceiling Cat wnts me 2 go 2 burger king, n its a long walk!" but his pal sed "no i wanna cum wiv u cos i wanna chikhen sammich n ull 4get" so they went 2 burger king
3 N da ppl who waz serving dem sed to da robot "do u no tht Ceiling Cat iz gnna take u 2 heaven but not ur pal???" n da he sed "yeh i no but dnt tell me!!!"
4 So den after he finshs tokin he tells his pal "plz stay here cos Ceiling Cat wnts me 2 go 2 mcdonalds cos dey dnt sell mcflurrys ere." but he seys "no im cumin wiv u" so they go ova 2 mcdonalds
5 So da guy who was servin da robot seys "do u no tht Ceiling Cat is takin u 2 heven but not u?" n da pal seys "yes but shutttup dnt remind me!!"
6 Den da robot seys 2 his pal "stay ere im goin to kfc, Ceiling Cat wants me 2" n da pal seys "no im cumin wiv u!!" so they went 2 kfc
7 Thy were almost dere but ther waz a huuuuge puddl in da way in da carpark so evey1 insyde kfc watched dem struggle haha!
8 Den da robot got a towel, throo it in da water n it all soakd up
9 Wen dey got in2 kfc da robot sed 2 his pal "wot do u want?" n he sed "double porshon ov chikhen plz"
10 An he sed "u hav askd suchs a hard fing cos i dnt hav enuf moneys"
11 An they toked for a bit an suddnly 2 horses on fire came n made a tornado n took da robot into heaven but not his pal.
12 N so his pal went mental n shoutd "da horses is on fire!!!" so took all da robots clothes tht he left n tore dem up
13 He took da towel dat wz still in da car park ov kfc n lookd arownd da car park
14 He den sqeeezd da woter out n shoutd "where da heck did my friend go??" den left
Da Robots Pal Elisha Takes Ova From Da Robot
15 So all da peephol who served da robot an his pal at mcdonalds saw him wok past da restront agen n they came 2 meet him n bowed 2 him cos he wiz now a proffit lyke his friend wos til he went 2 heaven
16 An dey sed 2 him "We be ur servents maybe cos we is strong we r soz bout ur friend but u mite beable 2 see him agen. da sprite ov da Ceiling Cat has cot up with him an put him on sum mountain or in2 a valley. we can go find him 4 u if u wan" An so he seys "nah dnt botha"
17 But they kpt goin on an on an on bout it so he sed "ok go" n so dey sent alot ov peephol to go find da prophet robot elikhat but dey coodnt. :(
18 An then da pal wiz lyke "h8 2 say i tld u so"
19 So da mcdonalds manager sed 2 elisha da proffit "u no wot? dis restront is gud but da water is baaad n thers not alot ov froot"
20 Da proffit sed "bring a bowl wiv salt innit" so they brot him it
21 He then went ova n throo da salt in a sink flld wi water n sed "Thus say Ceiling Cat, i hav healed dis durty woter frum now on no1 will die wen dey drink it or hav da baby in der belly die."
22 So da woter has been heald 2 dis day so now u hav a choiss btween coke n woter if u eva in mcdonalds yay!
sum yung ppl meking fun of elisha
23 So den elisha carryd on frm mcdonalds 2 burger king agen. while he was goin up sum wittle boys were mean 2 him callin her bald.
24 He turnt round n cursed them in da name ov Ceiling Cat! An as she carryd on 2 burger king 2 l33t bears sudenli come out da woods n nom'd 42 ov da boys leik dey waz cheezburgerz.
25 From dere he went 2 Mount Caramel n from dere he went 2 Sammacha.