2 Chronicles 33

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Old Testament

1 kk so ther was a kitteh called ManASSah (srlsy, lol). He wuz ruller wen he wuz twelf an he rullered for like more time then the internets existed, srsly.

2 Den Oh noes! ManASSah did evul in de sight of celing cat!! He wuz all like bein like teh googies, who the celing cat said wuz not kewl.Srly.

3 He did all teh bad thingss, he sai goggies are bettuh dan kittehs (which dey not!) and he maek leik groves and stuffs to goggies, which teh kitteh Hezzekaiah (him daddeh) had smashded up souper bad and stuffs. He builded alters to Baal (badd) and powls for asherasherah. He p-ed off ceiling cat meguh bad. srsly

4 He built alters in celing cats howse, in jewuslam evin!!! most unkewl.

5 He maked mo alters in de patio behind de scrween door of the celing cats house. He wuz burrin all de lettle kittehs, he put his kittehs in fiyah. He wuz all liek 'Iz in ur howse, makin badness'

6 He make spellz liek harry Potter and talked to wizards like dumbledorf, and celing cats was all like "DOOD geddowt o mah howse!" an he carved out goggie statues and saided dat dey will last longerer dan enyfink else. Ceiling Cat was well pissed.

7 Liek ages ago, Ceiling Cat had towlded David and Sollomon: Jerewsalum iz dah place ai liekz da bestest. Iz mine. srsly

8 If mah kittehs be gud kittehs and listensed to MosesKitte den dey can stay here, in deh warmthiness wiv deh hoomins.

9 Buh, Oh noez!! deh kittehs in Jeroosalem listeneded to ManASSah an no to Celing Cat and dey did even more invisibubl errors dan teh goggies didded. Oh noez!!

10 Ceiling Cat wuz all like "d00d!! wat iz u doin? srsly!" but ManASSah no listeneded to Ceiling Cat. OMG! Wat a n00b!

11 So ceilin cat let all deh Hamstuhs dat wer nearby attaks in dem Hamsteh balls and ManASSah wuz stoopid and got pwnd. Deh hamstuhs putted a hook in his nowes and taked him bak to dem cage in Babylon.

12 Wen ManASSah wuz der, he sended a txt to Ceiling Cat seyin dat he was stoopid and askeded for halp.

13 Ceilin Cat readed teh txt and so he tolded dem hamstuhs to let him go back and be teh ruller agen. ManASSah new dat Ceiling Cat was srsly for real.

14 Laytuh, ManASSah builded teh bit of Jeroewsalum's wall on teh rite sied of it, and he maded it BIGGERER! He also maded shoer dat Judah wuz protected from teh goggies and teh hamstuhs

15 ManASSah also goted rid of teh bad alters and stuff taht ceiling cat fowt wuz unkewl

16 Den he maded Ceiling Cat's alter fixd and maded him a cookie - but he did not eated it - and he asked for can has cheezburger. He tolded all teh kittehs to prayz Ceiling Cat and asks for can has cheezburgrz alsos.

17 Teh kittehs lissened to ManASSah (srsly, r dey sheepz or summin?) but dey talkd to Ceiling Cat in dem own playcez

18 Evryting else ManASSah (lol! still funneh) had doned is in a different book "Teh historeh o teh rullers izrayl"

19 Hozay writed lotz abowt ManASSah buh Hozay alsos writed bowt teh erruhz dat he didded befor he towt bowt ceiling cat liek all teh bad stuffs An invizzibul errors An stuff. srsly

20 ManASSah wuz deaded An wuz buryed neer teh paliss, An him son Amon wuz king.

21 Amon wuz twentee-too yers old wen he wuz kingified An he rulled for twoo yers. Dat no very much. 22 Amon did bad kitteh tings like ManASSah An mak liek tousands of invisible errors

23 Here teh ting. ManASSah went gud in teh end, liek Darf Vayduh in Star Wuhs, buh Amon no even ask if can has cheezburger! SRSLY! He wuz even baddeh dan him Daddy.

24 Sum of Amon's maets wunned to kills Amon An dey did.25 But teh kittehz of Juwdah maded dem deaded too an maded Amon's son Joezayeh king. kthxbai!

2 Chronicles 33
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