2 Chronicles 26

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Uzziah ez teh uber kin uv judah

1 ten all the kettehs uv Judah can have uzziah az kin cuz amaziah kilt (he az 16 yeers old btw)2 he can have elath cuz amaziah ez en Basement.3 uzziah ez 16 yeers old btw en he ez teh king, en he rained en Jerusalem 53 years (luvin the numbrs btw ) hez mommies ez jecoliah, en she ez frum Jerusalem jus like uzziah, amazing!4 he lizen 2 teh Ceiling Cat juz like teh good ketteh amaziah (wtf amaziah wuz bad ketteh, omg reed ur history!)5 he haded been looken 4 te Ceiling Cat all the time uv zechariah (he uz dis guy hoo tawt all the good stuffs bowt Ceiling Cat an dat u shood lizen 2 da Ceiling Cat all timz k?)6 ten he pwned the philistines en pushed ovr the wallz uv gath, jabneh en ashdod. Ten he rebelt the wallz uv ashdod (wai ded he push tem down in teh ferst place?)7 Ceiling Cat helped uzziah pwn teh philistines (egen!) en teh arabs hooz have lived en gur baal (teh arabz r all evl terrists btw)8 Teh ammonite kettehs gave dur salver ketteh foods disez 2 uzziah, en teh rumor uv dis wuz all teh talk uv egypt, cuz the egypt kettehs hav nutten bettr 2 do.9 Uzziah put presntz en Jerusalem et teh cornr bai the door, en et the door, en et teh slantin part uv teh wall.10 he alzo left presntz en teh littr boxes en eh also buried tem, en uzziah ad many mouses en teh hils en utter stuffs.11 uzziah also can haved mani ninja kettehs, srsly, un uv tem ez called jeiel (teh ninja secretaree) en un uv tem ez called hananiah (the roial ninja ofizal)12 ten tur wuz ovr 2,600 ninja kettehs! Srsly no jok!13 un not only were tur ninja kettehs, but dur wuz des armi of 307,500 warrier kettehs (who r not ninjas, but still can hav places en histeree) tis ez a veri stron armi btw.14 uzziah got teh katanaz en the sheelds, en coatz uv fur, en the cheezburgerz 4 all teh warrrierz en teh ninja ketteh armiz, cuz he good kettehz.15 en Jerusalem he can have computrz dezinged bai teh skillfull en intelligented pplz fur yoos az towerz, cuz tay veri nice 2 sit on an hurl large objetz off onto ketteh under u btw. Cuz uv dis all teh utter kettehs wur scarded uv em. (srsly I wud be 2)16 But ten cuz all teh utter kettehs wur scarded uv em, uzziah did not tink he needed teh Ceiling Cat animor, so he did no lizen 2 teh Ceiling Cat animor.17 en ten uzziah en all teh kettehs hoo ad nutten bettr 2 do dat dai went ento the house uv teh Ceiling Cat.18 u can not bee here said teh good kettehs, you no lizen 2 Ceiling Cat, so he no wanna talks 2 u, kthx bai!19 uzziah did not leev do, not evn 2 take u nap, he be angree ketteh,20 ten the good kettehs sawed uzziah scratch iz hed en teh good kettehs saiz “o noes! u av teh fleez!” en tai made uzziah leev the house uv Ceiling Cat cuz tai did not have want to give fleez 2 da Ceiling Cat, tey ichez.21 Since nun uv teh utter kettehs wanted teh fleez, uzziah had 2 lived all be imself, en he veri saded, en den he was kilt just cuz he got old. Durin dis uzziah’s babie, jotham got to liv in teh palas.22 The utter stuffs uzziah did wen he waz uber king uv Judah iz in dah book uv isaiah, amoz wuz isaiahz dadiee btw, it good book 2 reed.23 ten afer uzziah was kilt teh kettehs sayz “he haz teh fleez” and ten jotham became king, cuz teh job wuz open.

Jotham havin fun bein king uv judah

1 Jothamz mommee wuz jerusha en jerushaz momeee wuz zadok bte, en he wuz 25 yeers old wen he g2g en be king cuz uzziah iz ded uv teh fleez.2 He was a good ketteh, just like hiz daddie uzziah (omg wtf iz with diz storee, uzziah bad ketteh, cuz he no lizen 2 Ceiling Cat, get fact strate!) but Ceiling Cat did nut give jotham teh fleez cuz he did not have vistits 2 da Ceiling Catz home wen da Ceiling Cat did not have want for it. (Ceiling Cat iz teh 1 hoo gave uzziah teh evl fleez btw)3 Jotham bult a noo sofa 4 teh Ceiling Cat’s home, e even built au nice scratchin post un deh hill of ophel, iz very nice of em.4 he ten builted noo towz in teh hillz en in teh treez, an yees tay wur awsom tree houzez en teh tree town, 4 reel.5 ten jotham wuz bord, he haz onredy beten guitar hero lvl expert (4 reel), so he pwnz teh ammonite kettehz, en ten jotham can have teh ammonites kettehz silvar dizez, en 10,000 cors uv weet en 10,000 cors uv barlee 2 put en teh silvar dizez en eated tem fur breekfest. Ditto 4 nex 2 yeers.6 Ceiling Cat gave jotham mad skillz cuz he lizen 2 Ceiling Catz vareeuz whimz.7 Teh utter more interestin stuffs tat jotham did en iz fr33 time en in an utter book, teh book uv kingz uv Israel en Judah, good lucks findin it.8 He ez 25 yeers old when he becamed king uv Jerusalem an all uv dat utter stuffs, en he did dat dai job 4 16 yeers, en ten he ded en iz babea ahaz got 2 be king 4 a wile. Jotham bureed en cite uv david en all dat jazz btw.

2 Chronicles 26
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