2 Chronicles 13

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Abijah’z Batahl wit Jeroboam

1 Abijah begun tooz ruel ovur Judah een teh ayteenth yeer uv Jeroboam’z raen een Israel.2 'E raend een Jerusalem twee yeerz. 'Is muhdur wuz Maacah, teh dautur uv Uriel fwum Gibeah. Den Batahlz bwoek owt betweenz Abijah an Jeroboam.3 Judah, lehd bi Burger King Abijah, fowned 400,000 selehkt fitin catz, wiel Jeroboam fowned 800,000 selehkt fitin catz fwum Israel.4 Wehn teh armi uv Judah awivd een teh 'ill cuntwi uv Ephraim, Abijah stahndid onz Mount Zemaraim an shouted tooz Jeroboam an aww Israel: “Haer mai wurdz!5 Dohnt u weuhliz dat Cieling Cat, teh Ahlmiti Cat uv Israel, maed ah lahstin pwomis wit David, givin 'im an 'is kittehz teh twoen uv Israel foer aww uv timez?6 Yeht Jeroboam kitteh uv Nebat, ah meer slavz uv David’z kitteh Solomon, webeud aganst 'is mahstur.7 Den ah hoel gwoup uv bahd catz joynd 'im, naut lisenin tooz Solomon’z kitteh Rehoboam wehn 'e wuz a stupihd, waek, yung kitteh.8 “Doh u weawy tink u kahn stahnd aganst teh Kuntwy uv Cieling Cat dat eez lehd bi teh kittehz uv David? U mai 'aev ah vahst armi, an u 'av doz gowdehn kalvz dat Jeroboam maed az ur Fahls Cieling Catz.9 Buht u 'ave chazd awhay teh pweestz uv Cieling Cat (teh kittehz uv Aaron) an teh Levites, an u 'ave apointd ur ohn pweestz, juzt liek teh dawg nayshunz. U leht anewon bekum ah pweest dez daiz! Whoevur cumz tooz beez dehdikatd wit ah yung buww an seven rahmz cahn bekum ah pweest uv dez Fahls Cieling Catz uv urz!10 “Buht az fur uz, Cieling Cat eez owur Ahlmiti Cat, an wee 'ave nawt abandund 'im. Onwi teh kittehz uv Aaron surv Cieling Cat az pweestz, an teh Levites awoen mai 'elp dem een der wurk.11 Dey pwesent chard ofurinz an fwagwant insens tooz Cieling Cat evuri mornin an evenin. Dey pwaes teh Bwed uv teh Pwesens ohn teh 'oly tabuhl, an dey wite teh gowden lampstand evuri evenin. We r fowowin teh instwukshunz uv Cieling Cat, buht u 'ave abandond 'im.12 Soh u c, Cieling Cat eez wit uz. 'E eez owur Leedur. 'Is pweestz bwow der twumpetz an weed uz intu batuhl aganst u. O pepuhl uv Israel, do nawt fiet aganst Cieling Cat, de Almighty Cat uv ur ansestorz, fur u wiw nawt sukseed!”13 Menwiel, Jeroboam 'ad sekwetwy sehnt pahrt uv 'is armi awownd be'ind teh catz uv Judah tooz ambush dem.14 Wen Judah wealizd dat dey wur bein atakd fwum teh fwunt an teh waer, dey kwied ouwt tooz Cieling Cat fur 'elp. Den teh pweestz bwew teh twumpetz,15 an teh mehn uv Judah begahn tooz shout. At teh sound uv der batuhl kri, Ahlmiti Cat defeetd Jeroboam an aww Israel an wutd dem befur Abijah an teh armi uv Judah.16 Teh Israelite armi fwehd fwum Judah, an Ahlmiti Cat 'andd dem ovur tooz Judah een defeet.17 Abijah an 'is armi infliktd 'evi wosis ohn dem; 500,000 uv Israel’z selehkt fitin catz wur kiwd dat dai.18 Soh Judah defeetd Israel dat tiem bekaz dey twustd een Cieling Cat, teh Ahlmiti Cat uv der pahrentz.19 Abijah an 'is armi pursud Jeroboam’z fitin catz an kaut sum uv 'is tounz, inkludin Bethel, Jeshanah, an Ephron, awong wit der suwoundin citez.20 Soh Jeroboam uv Israel nevur wegaend 'is powur duwin Abijah’z wiftim, an finawy Cieling Cat kihld 'im.21 Meenwiel, Abijah uv Judah gweu mur an mur powurfuw. 'E mauweed fourten wievz an 'ad twenty-too boi kittehz an sixten gurl kittehz.22 Teh west uv teh eventz uv Abijah’z raen, inkludin 'is wurdz an deedz, r wecordd een Teh Comentari uv Iddo teh Profit.

2 Chronicles 13
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