1 Timothy 6

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New Testament

1 All who ar undr teh yok uf slavry shood considr theyr masters worthy uf ful respeck, so that Ceiling Cat's naem and our teeching may nawt bee slandrd, srsly.2 Thoes who have beleeving masters ar nawt to show les respeck for them cuz dey ar brudders. Instead, they ar to serv them evun bettur, cuz thoes who benfit frum there survice ar beleevrs, and deer to dem. Dees ar teh tings you ar to teech an urg on dem.

Wub uf Cheezburgers

3 If anywun teeches fals docktrins un does not agree to teh sownd instruktin uf owr Ceiling Cat Jesus Christ un to godlee teechin,4 he is conseetd an understans nuhin. He has an unhelthy intres in contruversees and quarls abowt wurds dat resuwlt in envee, strif, malishus tawk, evul suspishuns5 an constunt fricshun between cats uf currupt mind who haf ben robed uf teh trooth an who think that godlines is a means to get more cheezburgerz.

6 But godliness wif contenment is great gain. Srsly.7 Fur we brot nuthing into dis wurld. an we can taek nuthin out uf it.8 But if we has cookies an a coat of fur, we wil bee contentz wif dat.9 Cats who wantz too many cheezburgerz faw intu timptashun an a trap an into miny fewlish an hawmfewl desiwes dat pwunj cats intu ruin an distructshun.10 Fur de wub uf cheezburgerz is teh rewt uf awl keyndz uf evul. Sum cats, eegr fur cheezburgerz, hav wanderd frum teh faith and peerced demselvs wif many greefs.

Srsly Tim

11 But u fawlo Ceiling Cat so runz away! Dey hidez, but findz teh rite, godlines, faith, luv, enderens, and gentwlenes.12 Fihwt da g00d fihwt of teh faith. U sayz you getz eeternal liwf n we allz here u, so holdz on or it getz away.13 Rmembr Ceiling Cat who madez all tingz and watchz u, n Christ Jebus who pwnd Ponchus Pilot, cuz 4 dem I sez14 do what Ceiling Cat seyz all time until Christ Jebus cumz back15 cuz he'll do that when Ceiling Cat feelz lik it. Ceiling Cat who pwnz n haz teh most cheezburgerz,16 who livz 4eva in teh brite lite no one seez n can't seez evn if haz cheezburger. We givez him cookies all time. Ahmen.

lettr 2 teh rich

17 Charge dem dat r rich in dis wurld, dat dem be not high mindd, trust in da living Ceiling Cat, hoo giveth us richly things 2 enjoy;18 Dat dem do gud, and be rich in gud werkz, ready 2 distribute, willing 2 speek;19 Lay up in store 4 demselvez gud foundashun, dat dem cud lay hold on eternal life.20 O Timothy, keep dat which iz committd 2 thy trust, avoiding profane an vain babblings21 Which sum profesin has errs concerning teh faith. Grace be wif thee. Ahmen.

1 Timothy 6
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