1 Samuel 23
From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Keilah Goes "HALP!"
1 when david wuz told, "look, teh filistinez r fightin against keilah an r lootin teh threshin floors,"2 he inquird ov teh lord, sayin, "shall i go an attack thees filistinez?" Teh lord anzwerd him, "go, attack teh filistinez an save keilah."3 but davidz doodz sed 2 him, "her in judah we r afraid. How mutch moar, den, if we go 2 keilah against teh filistine forcez!"
4 once again david inquird ov teh lord, an teh lord anzwerd him, "go down 2 keilah, 4 im goin 2 giv teh filistinez into ur hand."5 So david an his doodz went 2 keilah, fought teh filistinez an carrid off their livestock. He inflictd heavy losez on teh filistinez an savd teh peeps ov keilah.6 (nao abiathar son ov ahimelech had brought teh efod down wif him when he fld 2 david at keilah.)
Saul vs. David: The Epic Battle
7 saul wuz told dat david had gone 2 keilah, an he sed, "ceilin cat has handd him ovar 2 me, 4 david has imprisond him by enterin town wif gatez an bars."8 an saul calld up all his forcez 4 battle, 2 go down 2 keilah 2 besiege david an his doodz.9 when david lernd dat saul wuz plottin against him, he sed 2 abiathar teh priest, "brin teh efod."
10 david sed, "o lord, ceilin cat ov israel, ur servant has herd definitely dat saul planz 2 come 2 keilah an destroy teh town on akownt ov me.11 will teh citizens ov keilah surrendr me 2 him? Will saul come down, as ur servant has herd? O lord, ceilin cat ov israel, tell ur servant." An teh lord sed, "he will."
12 again david askd, "will teh citizens ov keilah surrendr me an mah doodz 2 saul?" An teh lord sed, "they will."
13 so david an his doodz, bout 6 hundrd in numbr, left keilah an kept movin frum place 2 place. When saul wuz told dat david had escapd frum keilah, he did not go thar.14 david stayd in da desert strongholdz an in da hills ov teh desert ov zif. Dai aftr dai saul searchd 4 him, but ceilin cat did not giv david into his hanz.
15 while david wuz at horesh in da desert ov zif, he lernd dat saul had come out 2 taek his life.16 an sauls son jonathan went 2 david at horesh an helpd him find strength in ceilin cat.17 "doan be afraid," he sed. "mah fathr saul will not lay hand on u. U will be king ovar israel, an im gonna be second 2 u. Even mah fathr saul knows dis."18 teh 2 ov them made covenant before teh lord. Den jonathan went home, but david remaind at horesh.
19 teh zifitez went up 2 saul at gibeah an sed, "iz not david hidin among us in da strongholdz at horesh, on teh hill ov hakilah, south ov jeshimon?20 nao, o king, come down whenevr it pleasez u 2 do so, an we will be responsible 4 handin him ovar 2 teh king."21 saul replid, "teh lord bles u 4 ur concern 4 me.22 go an mak furthr preparashun. Find out wer david usually goez an hoo has seen him thar. They tell me he iz vry crafty.23 find out bout all teh hidin placez he usez an come bak 2 me wif definite informashun. [a] den im gonna go wif u; if he iz in da area, im gonna track him down among all teh clanz ov judah."
24 so they set out an went 2 zif ahead ov saul. Nao david an his doodz wuz in da desert ov maon, in da arabah south ov jeshimon.25 saul an his doodz began teh search, an when david wuz told bout it, he went down 2 teh rawk an stayd in da desert ov maon. When saul herd dis, he went into teh desert ov maon in pursuit ov david.
26 saul wuz goin along wan side ov teh mountain, an david an his doodz wuz on teh othr side, hurryin 2 git away frum saul. As saul an his forcez wuz closin in on david an his doodz 2 capchur them,27 mesengr came 2 saul, sayin, "come quickly! Teh filistinez r raidin teh land."28 den saul broke off his pursuit ov david an went 2 meet teh filistinez. Dat iz y they call dis place sela hammahlekoth. [b]
29 an david went up frum thar an livd in da strongholdz ov en gedi.
- a - 1 samuel 23:23 or me at nacon
- b - 1 samuel 23:28 sela hammahlekoth meanz rawk ov partin .
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