1 Peter 1

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New Testament

1 Peter, who leiked to hang wit teh Jeebus, To teh ppls who leik Jeebus in a bunch of places, 2 Hope u has peace and no lions, lol.

3 Jeebus’ dad, Ceiling Cat, is win, cauze he gave us Jeebus and made him a zombie,4 and will let us has chzburgurs and cookies wit him latr,5 if u leik him.

6 Don’t run out of happy cuz some stuff is teh sux,7 cookies and chzburgurs r better than gold,8 and tho Ceiling Cat is leik invisible bike,9 u can has them if u leik Jeebus and believe in Ceiling Cat.

10 Of teh chzburgurs and cookies many ppls said “srsly, y u do this?”11 and “when can i has chzburgurz and cookies?”12 Ceiling Cat said “have hugs teim wit ppls cuz i said so.”

13 "leik Jeebus."14 "and don’t b a n00b."15 U must have win to be wit the Jeebus,16 it’s written “be win, cuz I’m win.”

17 If u ask stuff of Ceiling Cat, who sees wut u did there and knoes if it is win or fail,18 u r able to go has cookies and chzburgurz not cuz of gold19 knoes that u r win cuz Jeebus bleeded.20 Jeebus had an I win button 4 us21 who leik him and Ceiling Cat.

22 Cuz u leik Jeebus and Ceiling Cat,23 u r tiny kittn and ur full of win24 cuz

“1 dai u’ll b leik kthxbai And have cookies and chzburgurs wit Jeebus 25 But Ceiling Cat will always b.”

1 Peter 1
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