1 Kings 6

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Old Testament

King Solomon Buildeded teh Leet Temple

1 So, srsly, gaiz. Dis iz lyk a long tiem aftir dey leaved Egypt. An now Solomon king maded teh rly leet temple.

2 Teh temple wuz liek biggir den haus.3 an sum partz wuz rly big!4 an teh windwz wir rly thin.5 but dats not teh best part. him puted lotza roomz on teh edge.6 but den, ZOMG, him put a lotta florz, liek 3 of dem. no, srsly, gaiz.

7 ya, but dere wuz no soundz. srsly.

8 and dere wuz stairz, so yu kood go 2 teh florz, ya, cuz why doz him put 3 florz an no put stairz?9 so, him liek done now.10 and dere waz teh side roomz, yeh, lol.

11 so ceiling cat sez (now yu bedder pay atenshun cuz when ceiling cat sez sumthin, yu lissin)12 "Yu do dis, and teh promiz i sed to yur dad gunna get dun wif yu.13 Den, Ima liv witchas, yeh. srsly.

14 so, Solomon doen now.15 And Solly goted liek sum nice woodz for teh wallz and florz.16 And him maded teh holy plaiz.17 An haus woz forty tailz LONG!18 An insid woz wud, not rox! Wud woz skrached into pritty flowrs!19 He maed place fr speshul CeilingCat telephone. An speshul catbed.20 speshul place wuz big! An had goldz! an had smelly wud.21 Ya rly lotz goldz!22 Moar goldz! Goldz fer CeilingCat haus!

23 Den Solomon maeded two BirdKats wit tree! Maed em tall!24 An der BirdKatz wings wer five tailz long!!25 BirdKats wer same size.26 Srsly. Wer same size.27 Den he putted em in haus an der wings tuched wallz!28 An he cuvrd BirdKats wit goldz!29 An he carvd moar! Liek kittehs an flowrs!30 An add moar goldz MOAR GOLDZ!

31 Solly maeded doorz frum woodz. Speshul woodz gud to lik om nom nom nom.32 Moar doorz an speshul wud an carvd kittehs an flowrs an MOAR GOLDZ!!! NO WAI SO MANY GOLDZ!33 Ther wer moar doorz wit speshul woodz.34 Othr doorz had stinky woodz.35 but had moar kittehs, moar flowrs, MOAR GOLDZ!36 An inside haus he puted big rox an gud wud.

37 See, he startd haus in yeer four38 an dun in yeer elevn! So bulded haus tuk sevn yeers!

1 Kings 6
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