1 Chronicles 1

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Dood, adam and teh abraham and teh noah was has lotz of kidz, srsly

1 Adam, Seth, Enosh (lolz),2 Kenan (no Kel, aww), Mahalelelel, Jarid,3 Enoch, Methusaleh (teh old gai), Lamech,


4 Teh baybeez ov Noah (but onlyz da boyz, dey wuz missawjinist): Shem, Ham (om nom nom!), & Japheth. Dey wuz teh Japhethites lulz


5 Teh baybeez ov Japheth wuz: Gomr, Magog, Mayday, JaMAN, Twoballs, Meshech an tiras, an he no eated them.


6 Teh baybeez ov Gomr. lolz: Ashkenaz, Rifhath an Togaman.


7 Teh baybeez ov JaMAN: Elisa, Tarshish-ka-bab, teh Kittim an teh Rodanim.


8 Teh baybeez ov Hamhamdinner: Cushion, Mizraim, Put (put whut, lawlz) an Canaan.


9 Teh baybeez ov Cush: Seba, Havilah, Sabta, Raamah an Sabteca. Teh baybeez ov Raamah: Sheba an Dedan


10 cush wuz teh fathr ov Nimrod, hoo grew 2 be mighty warrior on earth and alum. lolz.


11 mizraim wuz teh fathr ov Teh luditez, anoreximitez, rehabitez, naftuhitez,12 parachutes, casluhitez (frum whom teh filistinez came) an CAToritez.


13 canaan wuz teh fathr ov Sidon his 1stborn, an ov teh hittitez,14 jebusiets, amoritez, girgashitez,15 hivitez, arkitez, sinitez,16 arvaditez, zemaritez an hamathitez. Teh semitez


17 teh sons ov shem: Elam, asshur, arfaxad, lud an aram. Teh sons ov aram : Uz, hul, gethr an meshech.


18 arfaxad wuz teh fathr ov shelah, An shelah teh fathr ov ebr.


19 2 sons wuz born 2 ebr: Wan wuz namd peleg, cuz in his tiem teh earth wuz dividd; his brothr wuz namd joktan.


20 joktan wuz teh fathr ov Almodad, shelef, hazarmaveth, jerah,21 hadoram, uzal, diklah,22 obal, [i] abimael, sheba,23 ofir, havilah an jobab. All thees wuz sons ov joktan.


24 shem, arfaxad, shelah,


25 ebr, peleg, reu,


26 serug, nahor, terah


TEH FAMELEE OV ABE

27 an abram (dat iz, abraham). Teh pplz ov abraham


28 teh sons ov abraham: Isaac an ishmael. Descendants ov hagar


29 thees wuz their descendants: Nebaioth teh firstborn ov ishmael, kedar, adbeel, mibsam,30 mishma, dumah, masa, hadad, tema,31 jetur, nofish (;_;!) an kedemah. Thees wuz teh sons ov ishmael. Descendants ov keturah


32 teh sons born 2 keturah, abrahams concubine: Zimran, jokshan, medan, midian, ishbak an shuah. Teh sons ov jokshan: Sheba an dedan.


33 teh sons ov midian: Efah, efr, hanoch, abida an eldaah. All thees wuz descendants ov keturah. Descendants ov sarah


34 abraham wuz teh fathr ov isaac. Teh sons ov isaac: Esau an israel.


TEH BBYZ OV ESAU

35 teh sons ov esau: Elifaz, reuel, jeush, jalam an korah.


36 teh sons ov elifaz: Teman, omar, zefo, gatam an kenaz; By timna: amalek.


37 teh sons ov reuel: Nahath, zerah, shammah an mizzah. Teh peeps ov seir in edom


38 teh sons ov seir: Lotan, shobal, zibeon, anah, dishon, ezr an dishan.


39 teh sons ov lotan: Hori an homam. Timna wuz lotanz sistr.


40 teh sons ov shobal: Alvan, [m] manahath, ebal, shefo an onam. Teh sons ov zibeon: Aiah an anah.


41 teh son ov anah: Dishon. Teh sons ov dishon: Hemdan, eshban, ithran an keran.


42 teh sons ov ezr: Bilhan, zaavan an akan. Teh sons ov dishan : Uz an aran. Teh rulers ov edom


43 thees wuz teh kings hoo reignd in edom before any israelite king reignd  : Bela son ov beor, whose city wuz namd dinhabah.


44 when bela did, jobab son ov zerah frum bozrah succeedd him as king.


45 when jobab did, husham frum teh land ov teh temanitez succeedd him as king.


46 when husham did, hadad son ov bedad, hoo defeatd midian in da country ov moab, succeedd him as king. His city wuz namd avith.


47 when hadad did, samlah frum masrekah succeedd him as king.


48 when samlah did, shaul frum rehoboth on teh rivr succeedd him as king.


49 when shaul did, baal-hanan son ov acbor succeedd him as king.


50 when baal-hanan did, hadad succeedd him as king. His city wuz namd pau, an his wifez naym wuz mehetabel daughtr ov matrd, teh daughtr ov me-zahab.51 hadad also did. Teh chiefs ov edom wuz: Timna, alvah, jetheth,52 oholibamah, elah, pinon,53 kenaz, teman, mibzar,54 magdiel an iram. Thees wuz teh chiefs ov edom.

1 Chronicles 1
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