Zephaniah 1

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Old Testament

1 Ceiling cat telded Zephaniah stuffs. Dis was when Josiah (who was maded by Amon)was da kingz of Judah-land. I thawt u shud no dat Zephania was maded by King Hezekiah who was maded my Amaria who was maded by Gedaliah who was maded by Cushi. Sure iz lotz of "iahs" made by dat Cushi guy. Srsly.

Ceiling Cat juj da urf

2 nywaz afer all da mading happens Ceiling Cat says "I will make ded all stuffz on da urf. All the LOLruses, moocows and pepple. No one will not has ded. I, Ceiling Cat has spoked"3 "I am mad to you, Jurusa-town and Judah-ville. U all wurship da pretended Ceiling Cat, FAIL"4 nyone who wurships starz n moonz and sunz will be ded5 U front 2 Ceiling Cat and wurship pretended Ceiling Cat, you can has poison Cheezeburger!6 U acks for Ceiling Cats's halp but donut listen, u will has dedness too."

7 Ceiling Cat will pwn da urf soon, so be kwyat. d00dz will be in ur Judah-ville, steelin yer stuffz.8 An wen dat hapen, Ceiling Cat sed dat "Kittehs wif no furz be pwned.9 An if kittehs hided cheezburger frum hyumun, tehy be pwned."

10 "Stuf awl ovr will mayk noyz lowd. Srsly.11 omg, ai haet mutereulistik kittehs.12 An if yu fink Ceiling Cat not gud, him mayk yu ded.13 yu will be made chaynj uddur kitteh's litrbockses."

14 Ceiling Cat coems faszt. Be gud oar no can has cheezburger.15 it be not gud! no moar grasz an burds go hided so no can chays dem.16 kittehs wit shrp clause get ded furst.

17 "An ai mayk bad kittehs fallz off cownter cuz dey no can C."18 Den Ceiling Cat wul mayk fier to mayk ded awl bad kittehs. An teh Urfs no moar can has not gud kittehs.

Zephaniah 1
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