Zechariah 1

From LOLCat Bible Translation Project

Jump to: navigation, search
Old Testament
Bible5.gif
Zechariah's comishun

1 In da eightf month of da secund yeer of Darius, da wurdz of da Ceiling Cat came to da proffet Zecharia (begatted by Berechiah, begatted by Iddo).2 Ceiling Cat sez: "Srsly pissed wif yr forefathers rite now, k?3 U say to yr peeps Ceiling Cat sez dey come bak to Ceiling Cat an' Ceiling Cat comes bak to dem, k? I gotz nufink to sayz to dem uvvawyz.4 Do not want peeps like forefathers, srsly, k? Dey hearz da old proffets talkin' 'bouts mah wurdz an hearz dem say 'turn bak from da wayz of teh evilz!'5 but do deyz listen? No! Payz me any heedz? No! Srsly, WTF? Wer r mah heedz? An wer r yr forefathers now, beetchez? And dah proffets, hmm? Cuz dey r not hr enjoyenz da grate cheezburgr bounty ov da Ceiling wiv me, I tellz u dat rite now, k?6 Mah warnings and mah decrees I givez to da proffets - diz wuz a lot to ask of yr forefathers aprntly! Did yr forefathers not den repentz and sayz 'Ceiling Cat haz given us all dat we dezervd'? Ceiling Cat haz spoken!"

Eight vizhunz an sum stuffs aboutz dem

7 On da twntyforf day of the elvnth munf - wich iz aprntly called Shebat - stillz in da secund yeer of Darius - it iz happen again! Ceiling Cat iz speekz to Zecharia, who iz produkt ov many begattingz.8 Zecharia sez: Da uvva nite, I haz a vizhun, k? I seez a mans on a horse an sum uvva stuffs an mor horses.9 "WTF is wif da horses and stuff?" I sez an a anjelz sed "I showz u!"10 Den da mans sez "dese be sum thingz dat Ceiling Cat iz send to hangs arownd on da urth and cheks it all out, kk?"11 An den da horses and stuff sez to da anjel "We bin on da urth, like, forevaz! U can tells Ceiling Cat dat urth iz all good, k?"12 Da anjel sayz "O grate Ceiling Cat, giver of da saycred cheezburgrz! How long for u be wivholden' yr compashun from Jerusalem an da cities of Judah? U bin given dem crap for seventy yeers, srsly!"13 Den Ceiling Cat sayz nice stuffs to da winey anjel an he iz all betterz an happiez an anjel sez to mah gud self:14 "Ceiling Cat so pissed off rite now, kk? Beforz, he wuz angriez wiv Jerusalem an Zion an he wuz all 'Do not want!'15 but since dat time uvva nayshuns hav bin takinz dose forsayken places to dere advantagenesses an dey hav filld da cities wiv teh evilz -16 teh evilz so many dat Ceiling Cat sez he cums bak to Jerusalem and fixez it!17 Srsly! It will be a place full of cheezburgrs againz! "18 Den I am juz lookinz abowt an I seez four hornz an I wuz all like WTF hornz?19 an da anjel sayz "dese hornzes pwned Jerusalem beforz!"20 Ceiling Cat showded us four smifs an I wuz all like WTF smifs?21 An Ceiling Cat sez: da smifs will pwn the hornzes and undo da pwning I gave Jerusalem and sum uvva places.

Zechariah 1
Books Chapters
← Previous Next → ← Previous Next →
Haggai Malachi Haggai 2 Zechariah 2
Personal tools