Tobit 1

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1 Teh buk uv teh wurdz uv Tobit, son uv Tobiel, teh son uv Ananiel, teh son uv Aduel, teh son uv Gabael, uv teh seed uv Asael, uv teh trieb uv Nefthali;2 hu in teh tiem uv Enemessar king uv teh Asireeyuns wuz leaded captureded owt uv Thizbee, wich iz at teh riet hand uv taht citee, wich iz calleded propperlee Nefthali in Galilee abuv Aser.

3 Ai Tobit haz walkeded all teh daez uv mai lief in teh waiz uv troof an justiss, an ai gived munneez to mai brudders, an mai naeshun, hu caem wif meh to Nineve, into teh land uv teh Asireeyuns.

4 An wen ai wuz in mai own cuntree, in teh land uv Israel wen ai wuz a kitten, awl teh trieb uv Nefthali mai daddee falled frum teh howse uv Jerusalem, wich wuz choosed owt uv awl teh triebz uv Israel, dat awl teh triebz shood sakrifais dere, wer teh tempul uv teh livinz uv teh mostest Hai wuz holy-fied an builded for awl ajez.

5 Nao awl teh triebz wich togevur fighted, an teh howse uv mai daddee Nefthali, sakrifaist to teh cow Baal.

6 But ai goed to Jerusalem by maisef awl teh tiems at teh big eatingz, liek Ceiling Cat sez for awl teh Israel pplz to do, wif teh sakrifaisez an stuffz; an ai gived dem to teh preastz, teh kittenz uv Aaron.7 Teh furst 10t uv awl teh stuffz ai giveded to teh kittens uv Aaron in Jerusalem: anuver 10t ai selled, an goed, an spended it in Jerusalem:8 An the 3th ai giveded to teh pplz hu needz it, liek granny Debora toal meh to, cuz mai daddee died.

9 Awlso, wen ai growed up, I marryd Anna frum mai nayburhud, an we haded sexytime an Tobias wuz borned.10 An wen we wuz taked to Nineve, awl my brudders an fambly eated teh der fud.11 But ai DID NOT WANT der fud;12 Cuz ai membered Ceiling Cat wif awl uv mai hartz13 An Ceiling Cat maked Enemessar liek meh, so dat ai becomed hiz buddee.14 An ai goed into Media, an leaved Gabael, Gabriases brudder, at Rages (iz a citee in Media) 10 silver coinz.

15 Nao wen Enemessar dieded, Sennacherib his kitten getted teh kingdom; his howse haded problems, soz ai coudent go to Media.16 An in teh tiem dat Enemessar wuz king ai giveded munneez to mai brudders, an gived mai bred to hungree kittehs,17 an mai clovz to teh nakkid: an if ai seed ennee ded pplz ai noed in Nineve, ai berryd him.18 An if teh king Sennacherib had killeded ennee pplz, wen him came, an run awai frum Judea, ai berryd dem prievatlee; cuz wiel him wuz mad him killeded lotz; but teh bodyz wuznt finded, wen teh king wuz lookin for dem.19 An wen wun uv teh Nineve pplz goed an complaind to teh king abowt meh, dat ai berryd dem, an ai hided; cuz dey wud uv killeded meh, ai hided cuz ai wuz a fraidy-cat.20 Den dey taked awl mai stuffz, an dere wuznt nuffin lefted for meh, jus mai laedee Anna an mai son Tobias.

21 An 55 daez goed by, an 2 uv hiz sons killeded him, an dey runned into teh mowntunz uv Ararath; an Sarchedonus hiz son taked hiz spot; hu put over hiz daddeez munneez an stuffz, Achiacharus mai brudder Anaelz son.22 An Achiacharus let me come bak to Nineve. He wuz teh butler, an teh servunt an teh acowntant: an Sarchedonus maked him dat: an he wuz my brudderz son.

Tobit 1
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