Titus 1

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New Testament

1 Oh hai, Paul workz for teh Ceiling Cat an is laik best matez wiv Baby Jesus, srsly, so tehre, kthxbye.

2 Laik ages ago, teh Ceiling Cat sed he canned live forevers, srsly.

3 An he sedded some gud stuffs, cos Ceiling Cat who is l33t, made him do it, but did not eated him.

4 Titus, you can has cheezburgrs plz?

5 U has been in teh Crete, doin gud stuffs an givin jobz to old kittehs in teh cities.

6 Gud pplz can has one wife plz? And their kidz better not be getting asbos or bein chavs, srsly.

7 Old pplz wiv tall hatz gotted to be gud, coz workin for teh Ceiling Cat. That meanz no catnipz, no fightin on teh garden fence, no scratchin other kittehs, an not pooin on teh monies, kthx.

8 But also gotted to be party pplz, still no catnipz tho LOL, an be kind an laikin teh good men (but no buttsecks!) and stuffs.

9 Sed stuffs laik "Ai gotted teh truth, srsly, so can all pplz believe mai now plz? kthxbye."

10 Coz lotz pplz sez all kindz of bad lyin stuffs, specially after trip to vetz for teh newteringz.

11 They sedded lies an bad stuffs just for teh monies, an should STFU! kthx

12 Even one of teh bad pplz tehre sedded alz Cretians are lying, bad puppehs, an slow. So tehre.

13 Ai is not lyin, srsly! Go get teh water pistol an shootz tehm!

14 That way they is listenin to truth of teh Ceiling Cat, not bad stuffz.

15 Gud pplz gotted gud minds, but bad pplz thinkz bad thoghts.

16 Dey is laik, "Oh hai Ceiling Cat!" to his face, but tryin bite him when turnz round, and pooin outside teh litter tray an stuffs.

Titus 1
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