Song of Solomon 7

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Old Testament
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Lovr

1 Teh graisful iz ur step wif doez pawz,
 u royil kittn!
 Ur upr legz iz julery,
 maed teh secks bai an exprt, iz no jk!
2 Ur belli buttn iz da moonz shineh watr bowl
 dat haz rezuvwar leik teh kittehmart wunz.
 Ur tummi iz liek a pile of fresh phishez
 wif catnipz all roundz it yum.
3 Ur boobiez iz liek babi deer plushies
 dat iz twinz. HAWT.
4 Ur neck iz a towr of elifant bpwnz (wtfsxy).
 Ur eyez iz liek teh poolz of kitteh paradeis
 nex to da gaet uv teh awsum d00dz.
 Ur noez iz liek teh Towr of Mordorz
 pointin two parteh sentral.
5 Ur hed sits on yu secksey liek a rly big cat condo.
 Ur hair iz, leik, so hawt
 that Steve Jobz got cot in it. Srsly.
6 Howd u get so kewl? Babeh yur leik catnips
 but raizd to a googlez omg!
7 Dat day, iz leik, srsly, sheez an uberhawt tree
 an shez got lushiss b00biez (wait, iz spoes maek analogy? wtevr).
8 Iz all, "i gonna clim up da tree
 an lick meh sum fr00tzorz."
 I hopez dey iz tasteh leik yum,
 n ur brefs leik j00z chewin spearamint,
9 n ur moufs, i hopes it taest yum so can go NOM NOM NOM -

Belovid

LOL heez wun hapie kitteh,
 n heez defnitlee awaek now kk.

10 Aiz mah lovrz kitteh,
 n he thinks im hawt.
11 Hey babeh, lets go parteh outside,
 n go rotflmfao n da hei!!1 lolz
12 Leik lets go lookee at da catnip
 an tri fin sum tastee budz!
 Wanna go look at flowerz maybeez?
 n maybee der iz pr0ngranitz wif flowrez too!
 Ther weez gon maek secksey.
13 Der iz luvplantz, n itz air haz a flavr,
 an weez all dis awsum stufs -
 tasteh birdehz an mangoes n nom noms 4 u, mah lovr,
 an i haz it, an i haz srsly not eated it yet.

Song of Solomon 7
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