Song of Solomon 3

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Old Testament
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1 In teh nite timez in mai litterbox I be lookin fer mai kittehfrend: I sed "O hay! Whar u beez?" but no find. INVISIBLE KITTEHFREND!

2 So I was all "BRB!" and went to teh citty too find invisible kittehfrend. I sed "O hay! Whar u beez?" but no find. STILL INVISIBLE KITTEHFREND! zomg.

3 Sum watchkittehs in teh sitty sed "O hay!" so I sed "O hay thar! U seen mai invisible kittehfrend? Also, whar can I buyz cookies?"

4 OMG OMG OMG, u guyse! So affer not so long I find invisible kittehfrend! I helded him and skweezeded him and sed "I HAS A VISIBLE KITTEHFREND!" and den I brotted him 2 my momz's litterbox whar my popz sed "PENIS GO WHERE?" to my momz long tyme ago. Kinda kreepie lolz.

5 So lissen, doters o Jerusalem. BE KWIET. Don't waykez mai boykittehfrend until he dun nappin'. kthx.

6 O noez! Who dis peepin tom beez comin' frum teh willdurnez like pillerz o smoak? O hay, yu stink! U has powderz!

7 Ooo, look at hiz litterbox. Dis be Solomoncat. U gotz lotz of kittehs witchoo (threeskore 2 be eckzakt)!

8 WTF? Dey be holdin swordzes cuz dey lykz to fite and dere skurred of teh dark. lolz.

9 Solomoncat pimped hiz cherryot wif woodz from Lebanon. Mad propz.

10 So like dis how it look: silver pillerz, gold rimz, perple paint jobby. Paveded wif nuttin but lurve 4 teh doters o Jerusalem.

11 Git moovin, doters o Zion, go chek out Solomoncat wif hiz l33t krown! His momz giveded it 2 him and he wuz like "O snap, dis tight! I gots mad gladnezz."

Song of Solomon 3
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