From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Boaz marriez Ruth
1 K so Boaz iz in teh towns and ZOMG teh closesest guy iz liek "Oh hai." Boaz sez "U come and sitz here, k?" And teh guy sez "kthx."
2 And so Boaz sez 2 teh otehr guyz "U come and sitz here 2, k?" And tehy sez "kthx."3 He sez 2 teh closesest guy "K so Naomi iz comes back and iz sells teh land frum taht guy Elimelech.4 "So I iz thinks I tells u 'Hay, u can has land, k?' Becuz u can has it, becuz u iz closesest, but ifs u duznt want it, I can has it, k?" And teh closesest sez "K I wants it."
5 And boaz sez "BTW: u has to has teh womun Ruth, frum Moab, ifs u has teh land, becuz sumfing 'bout inher'tance."
6 Teh closesest sez "OH NOES!!! U can has."
7 BTW: in teh Israel, teh mans does sum stuffs to sells and buys stuffs--one mans gives teh sandul 2 teh otehr guy. Srsly.
8 K so when teh guy sez "U can has," he givs his sandul.
Davidz fambli an kittens
13 So Ruth is wifes, penis goes where, and thay has teh kid.14 Teh womuns sez "ZOMG teh Ceiling Cat pwns becuz she has teh kid!15 "Teh Ceiling Cat gives u cheezburgr; becuz Ruth (she pwns) has teh kid.
16 Naomi is takes teh kid and gives him teh boobies and teh kid is liek "NOMNOMNOM."
17 Teh womuns is gives teh kid name and sez "Naomi has teh kid." Teh womun sez his name iz Obed; he has teh kid Jesse and Jesse has teh kid David (David iz gonna pwn, btw).
18 Perez is has teh kidz: Perez is has teh kid Hezron,
19 Hezron is has teh kid Ram, Ram is has teh kid Amminadab,
20 Amminadab is has teh kid Nahshon, Nahshon is has teh kid Salmon,
21 Salmon is has teh kid Boaz, Boaz is has teh kid Obed,
22 Obed is has teh kid Jesse, and Jesse is has teh kid David.
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