Ruth 3

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Old Testament
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Rith n Boaz makes de wheet

1 Laterz, Naomi sez too Ruth "I am has find you a home for fuds.2 "Boaz iz relative. Yu has go to the winowin floar.3 "Get clean n' smeel niec. Ware somthin nice. Be liek a ninja til he don eatin chezburgr n drnkin.4 "Watch wer he haz lies down an lie nexto his feetz k. He willz known what's about."


5 Ruth sez she will do what shes told.6 Ruth goez two threshin floar liek shez told.


7 Ruth wates til after Boaz is all dun finsht eatin chezeburgas n drinkin'.8 Boaz waxe up. Hims finds Ruth at hiz harbls.


9 "Who r u?" sez he.
"Im Ruth." Ruth sez bak. "gimmeh blanket cuz iz cold. Ur mai .. uhhhh ... knsmen-redemer? I dono wut that meanz."


10 "Teh Ceiling Cat has makes yuo happy. Dis is better than teh last time yus was niec. Yus not lieks young mens cuz ims old.11 "Donts be scard, cuz i be nice kthx. all teh guyz in town think u rulz.12 "I has did mai homewrok an I not ur d00d. We r buddyz, but not bestest bestest buddyz.13 "Yu stays heer k. I iz find if hims want u in da morning. If him say 'NOES!!!' i is do teh jobb. U Stays here kthxbye."14 This is a fucking waste of time. Honestly. How much time do you have on your fucking hands? I feel sorry for anyone who feels the need to waste their life away translating the Bible into the worst fictional language since Klingon.


15 Ruth doez it rite. Boaz tels liz for hr.


16 Boaz iz givin her fuds n gose back into town.


17 Naomi is askin Ruth hows it wents. Ruth iz tellin Naomi hows it wents.18 Ruth iz talkin about teh fuds n' stuff.


19 Naomi iz tellin Ruth dat Boaz will has made it all betters.

Ruth 3
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