Ruth 1

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Old Testament

1. In teh dayz of judges, no foodz. Man from Bethlehem (dat in Judah) is has wife 'n too sonz and leave for Moab.

2. Man is Elimelech. Wife iz Naomi. Sonz names don't matter, they dies soon anways lolz. They livez in Moab now.

3. Elimelech dies, Naomi is widowe. Still gots two sunz.

4. Sons has gots wives now, Orpah n' Ruth. Family livs in Moab for tene yers and

5. Sunz dies lolz. Naomi now widowe with no sunz.

6. She hears that Invisible Man help his pepples by givin thems cakes n' pies n' cheezebrgrs kthx. Naomi is gets doghters n' goes bak to Israel.

7. Thems all leave home on the roadz to teh Judahs.

8. Naomi sez "Kthx, but yuz go home to yur momz. May teh Invisible Man give all of you happy 'n stuff as yous have shown yours dead n' me.

9. "May Invisible Man givez you will finds sleeps n' more mens 'n stuffs, kthxbye." She kised thems and all cried lolz.

10. And said to herz "We gos bak wit yuz."

11. But Naomi sez "Nos! Go homez, lolz. Why yu comes? I am haves no more suns for yu to be wivezes.

12. "Goes home... I too old 'n stuff for more husbands. There is no hopes for me to has sunz.

13. "Even ifs, sunz be babees 'n not able to get marryed for long times lol. Bad times for me, not as bad for you since Invisible Man hates mes and kills all my husband n' sonz."

14. All crys. Orpah kisess Naomi 'n gos home like good doter. Ruth not leeves.

15. "Look"(Naomi keep talks)"yus sister gos home to her peeples n' gods. Go with teh flowz!"

16. Ruth sez "Nos. Where yu goes, I gos n' where yu stay, me too. Yus peeples mine 'n yus Invisible Man mine too kthx.

17. "I dies where yu dies, n' there i is being dead. May teh Invisible Man killz me, deaths is all that wills separated us."

18. Naomi sees Ruth. Stops yelling. They goes.

19. Thems has gots to Bethlehem. Town sez "Is this teh Naomis?"

20. "I not Naomi" sez Naomi. "I is called Mara (which means icky n' bitter), becuz Invisible Man is mean and make my life bad.

21. "I gos out full wit husband n' sunz 'n stuff, but now i gots none. Why calls me Naomi (which meanses good 'n stuff)? Invisible Man can has afflicted mes."

22. So anyways they all gets back to Bethlehem from Moab and it wuz times to has barleys.

Ruth 1
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Book of Judges Book of 1 Samuel Judges Twenty One Ruth Two
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