Ruth 1

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{{Old Testament}}
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|1=In teh dayz when tehre wuz teh doods who saided "No can has cheezburgers!", therez no cheezbrgrz and the hongreh kittehs had nuffin to eated. So a dood from Beetleham (in J00da) wif a wifey 'n too boy kittehs, dem goez to Moab 'n stuffs. 
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|2=Dood iz Elimelech. Wifey iz Naomi. Boy kittehs nameses dun matter (they dies soon anways, lolz). Anyways, so teh fambly liv in Moab nao.
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'''1.''' In teh dayz of judges, no foodz. Man from Bethlehem (dat in Judah) is has wife 'n too sonz and leave for Moab.
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|3=Elimelech dieded, 'n Naomi's liek "Oh Noes!" but still gots two boy kittehs.
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'''2.''' Man is Elimelech. Wife iz Naomi. Sonz names don't matter, they dies soon anways lolz. They livez in Moab now.
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|4=Boy kittehs get wifey kittehs, Orpah 'n Ruthie. Fambly livs in Moab fir tene yers and
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|5=Boy kittehs dieded, wtf?! Naomi iz liek srsly "Oh Noes!" wif no more kittehs.
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'''3.''' Elimelech dies, Naomi is widowe. Still gots two sunz.
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'''4.''' Sons has gots wives now, Orpah n' Ruth. Family livs in Moab for tene yers and
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'''5.''' Sunz dies lolz. Naomi now widowe with no sunz.
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'''6.''' She hears that Ceiling Cat help his pepples by givin thems cakes n' pies n' cheezebrgrs kthx. Naomi is gets doghters n' goes bak to Israel.
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'''7.''' Thems all leave home on the roadz to teh Judahs.
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'''8.''' Naomi sez "Kthx, but yuz go home to yur momz. May teh Ceiling Cat give all of you happy 'n stuff as yous have shown yours dead n' me.
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'''9.''' "May Ceiling Cat givez you will finds sleeps n' more mens 'n stuffs, kthxbye." She kised thems and all cried lolz.
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'''10.''' And said to herz "We gos bak wit yuz."
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'''11.''' But Naomi sez "Nos! Go homez, lolz. Why yu comes? I am haves no more suns for yu to be wivezes.
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'''12.''' "Goes home... I too old 'n stuff for more husbands. There is no hopes for me to has sunz.
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'''13.''' "Even ifs, sunz be babees 'n not able to get marryed for long times lol. Bad times for me, not as bad for you since Ceiling Cat hates mes and kills all my husband n' sonz."
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'''14.''' All crys. Orpah kisess Naomi 'n gos home like good doter. Ruth not leeves.
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|6=Naomi heerz dat Ceiling Cat helpin his pepples by givin thems cakes n' pies n' cheezebrgrs n stuffs, omg! Naomi is gets wifey grrl kittehs Oprah 'n Ruthie.
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|7=Thems awl leev home on teh roadz to teh J00da.
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'''15.''' "Look"(Naomi keep talks)"yus sister gos home to her peeples n' gods. Go with teh flowz!"
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|8=Naomi sez "Kthx, but yuz go home nao to yur momz. Srsly, ai hopes teh Ceiling Cat givez cheezburger an stuff liek yous givded cheezburger to daed kittehs an me."
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|9="May Ceiling Cat givez yew will finds sleeps n' more mens 'n stuffs, kthxbai." She kised thems and all crieded lots.
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|10=Tehn wifey kittehs Oprah and Ruthie saided, "Noes! We want goes bak wit yoo."
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'''16.''' Ruth sez "Nos. Where yu goes, I gos n' where yu stay, me too. Yus peeples mine 'n yus Ceiling Cat mine too kthx.
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|11=But Naomi sez "Noes! Srsly, do not want! Go baek to yr pepples. Y yu comes? Ai am haves no more sunz fur yu to be wivezes."
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|12="Goez homez, I too old 'n stuff for moar kittehs. Ai r oldcat srsly an Iz not haz huzbnd."
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|13="Evn ifs Ai maded moar kittehs, sunz be lil babbehs. Srsly wtf, yew not waitz haz secks til new kittehs r big! Do not want leavin yew 'n gudbye 'n stuff, but Ceiling Cat dun liek me no moar."
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'''17.''' "I dies where yu dies, n' there i is being dead. May teh Ceiling Cat killz me, deaths is all that wills separated us."
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|14=Everbuddeh crydeding, srsly. Orpah kissez Naomi 'n goes home liek a gud lil kitteh. But Ruthie, her stay wif Naomi liek staticky plastick baggie.
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'''18.''' Naomi sees Ruth. Stops yelling. They goes.
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|15="Um, k, Ruthie"(Naomi talkdeding)"yur sistur wented home to her fambly 'n stuffs. Go wif teh flowz!"
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'''19.''' Thems has gots to Bethlehem. Town sez "Is this teh Naomis?"
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|16=Ruthie sez "Noes, do not want goes; 'n yu can't maek meh. Ai follohs yu an sleeps nexta yu. An Yur kittehs r mai kittehs an yur Ceiling Cat mien tew kthx.
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|17="Ai dies wif you, 'n if dem putting yu in litterbocks, dem putting me in litterbocks. An Whatevurs Ceiling Cat duz to yu, Ceiling Cat duz to me, srsly, even if ai not wif yu, 'n stuffs."
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|18=Naomi sez kk coz Ruthie, her mind maded up. An Noami do not meow moar.
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'''20.''' "I not Naomi" sez Naomi. "I is called Mara (which means icky n' bitter), becuz Ceiling Cat is mean and make my life bad.
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|19=So, laters, dem haz gots to Beetleham. Teh pepples tehre ar srsly full of happy, w00t! Wimmens in town sez "Oh hai, iz yew teh Naomi?"
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'''21.''' "I gos out full wit husband n' sunz 'n stuff, but now i gots none. Why calls me Naomi (which meanses good 'n stuff)? Ceiling Cat can has afflicted mes."
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|20="Oh hai, ai are not Naomi anny moar" sez Naomi. "Ai pickeded n00b naem Mara (wich meanses 'tastles liek yuk'), 'cuz Ceiling Cat is meenie an ai has run outta happy."
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|21="Ai wented out full wif fambly, hubbeh, boy kittehs 'n stuff, but now ai gots none. Wtf? Srsly, y callz meh Naomi (wich meanses l33t 'n stuff)? Ceiling Cat haets meh nao, oh noes!"
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'''22.''' So anyways they all gets back to Bethlehem from Moab and it wuz times to has barleys.
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|22=So anyways, Naomi an Ruthie wented to Beetleham frum Moab, an nao is tiem for picking crop of teh barleys an teh cheezburgers.
[[Category:Ruth|Ruth 1]]
[[Category:Ruth|Ruth 1]]
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{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[1 Samuel]]|PrevBook=[[Judges]]|NextChap=[[Ruth 2]]|PrevChap=[[Judges 21]]}}
{{Bottom Bar|NextBook=[[1 Samuel]]|PrevBook=[[Judges]]|NextChap=[[Ruth 2]]|PrevChap=[[Judges 21]]}}

Latest revision as of 07:48, 28 September 2009

Old Testament
Bible5.gif

1 In teh dayz when tehre wuz teh doods who saided "No can has cheezburgers!", therez no cheezbrgrz and the hongreh kittehs had nuffin to eated. So a dood from Beetleham (in J00da) wif a wifey 'n too boy kittehs, dem goez to Moab 'n stuffs.2 Dood iz Elimelech. Wifey iz Naomi. Boy kittehs nameses dun matter (they dies soon anways, lolz). Anyways, so teh fambly liv in Moab nao.

3 Elimelech dieded, 'n Naomi's liek "Oh Noes!" but still gots two boy kittehs.4 Boy kittehs get wifey kittehs, Orpah 'n Ruthie. Fambly livs in Moab fir tene yers and5 Boy kittehs dieded, wtf?! Naomi iz liek srsly "Oh Noes!" wif no more kittehs.

6 Naomi heerz dat Ceiling Cat helpin his pepples by givin thems cakes n' pies n' cheezebrgrs n stuffs, omg! Naomi is gets wifey grrl kittehs Oprah 'n Ruthie.7 Thems awl leev home on teh roadz to teh J00da.

8 Naomi sez "Kthx, but yuz go home nao to yur momz. Srsly, ai hopes teh Ceiling Cat givez cheezburger an stuff liek yous givded cheezburger to daed kittehs an me."9 "May Ceiling Cat givez yew will finds sleeps n' more mens 'n stuffs, kthxbai." She kised thems and all crieded lots.10 Tehn wifey kittehs Oprah and Ruthie saided, "Noes! We want goes bak wit yoo."

11 But Naomi sez "Noes! Srsly, do not want! Go baek to yr pepples. Y yu comes? Ai am haves no more sunz fur yu to be wivezes."12 "Goez homez, I too old 'n stuff for moar kittehs. Ai r oldcat srsly an Iz not haz huzbnd."13 "Evn ifs Ai maded moar kittehs, sunz be lil babbehs. Srsly wtf, yew not waitz haz secks til new kittehs r big! Do not want leavin yew 'n gudbye 'n stuff, but Ceiling Cat dun liek me no moar."

14 Everbuddeh crydeding, srsly. Orpah kissez Naomi 'n goes home liek a gud lil kitteh. But Ruthie, her stay wif Naomi liek staticky plastick baggie.

15 "Um, k, Ruthie"(Naomi talkdeding)"yur sistur wented home to her fambly 'n stuffs. Go wif teh flowz!"

16 Ruthie sez "Noes, do not want goes; 'n yu can't maek meh. Ai follohs yu an sleeps nexta yu. An Yur kittehs r mai kittehs an yur Ceiling Cat mien tew kthx.17 "Ai dies wif you, 'n if dem putting yu in litterbocks, dem putting me in litterbocks. An Whatevurs Ceiling Cat duz to yu, Ceiling Cat duz to me, srsly, even if ai not wif yu, 'n stuffs."18 Naomi sez kk coz Ruthie, her mind maded up. An Noami do not meow moar.

19 So, laters, dem haz gots to Beetleham. Teh pepples tehre ar srsly full of happy, w00t! Wimmens in town sez "Oh hai, iz yew teh Naomi?"

20 "Oh hai, ai are not Naomi anny moar" sez Naomi. "Ai pickeded n00b naem Mara (wich meanses 'tastles liek yuk'), 'cuz Ceiling Cat is meenie an ai has run outta happy."21 "Ai wented out full wif fambly, hubbeh, boy kittehs 'n stuff, but now ai gots none. Wtf? Srsly, y callz meh Naomi (wich meanses l33t 'n stuff)? Ceiling Cat haets meh nao, oh noes!"

22 So anyways, Naomi an Ruthie wented to Beetleham frum Moab, an nao is tiem for picking crop of teh barleys an teh cheezburgers.

Ruth 1
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