Romans 3

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New Testament
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1 So iz dere enni point in bein a Jew enniwai?2 Yes! For wun thing Ceiling Cat givded dem hiz wordz.

3 Suppose sum peeplz duzint beleev an trust Ceiling Cat, does dat cauz Ceiling Cat enni problimz?4 No! Ceiling Cat is riet an if u disagreez u iz rong. Liek teh book sez:
 "So u can say 'haha i tolded u so'
  an win."

5 But spose we iz so bad dat Ceiling Cat proovz how good he iz bai punishin us. Iz dat unfair?6 Well DUH no. Ceiling Cat getz to juj teh whoal wrld.7 Sumwun miet sai "Wel if i iz bad dat maekz Ceiling Cat look good, shudnt i get a cheezburgr for dat?"8 Datz teh saem az sayin "Letz do bad thingz bcz we'll get good rezultz." Sum peeplz saiz we sai dat enniwai but dey iz lyin.

Evriwun iz bad

9 So OK letz sum up. Iz we enni bettr? No!!! We haz areddi sed dat Jews an Gentiles iz both ful of sin.10 Liek teh book sez:
 "Dere iz no good peeplz, not evn wun;
11   nobodi undrstandz (dis part is kind of emo LOL)
 nobodi triez to find Ceiling Cat.
12  Evribodi iz lookin teh othr wai,
  dey iz all worfless;
 nobodi duz enni good,
  not a singl d00d."
13  "Dere moufz iz liek graevz;
  an dere tungz tellz liez."
 Dey haz snaek poizn on dere lipz."
14  "Dere moufz iz full of bad wurdz."
15  "Dere clawz iz alwaiz reddi to draw blood;
16   dere iz trubl whaerevr dey goez,
17  an dey duzint evn know ennithin about peece."
18  "Dey iznt afraed of Ceiling Cat neethr, foolz."

19 So if teh law sez ennithin, it sez it to peepl who iz under teh law, so STFU.20 So no wun becomz good by followin teh law. Teh law iz to help us understand about Invisible Errors k.

Whai itz importnt to trust Ceiling Cat

21 But nao we knowz about goodness comin from Ceiling Cat. Teh Law an teh profettz tellded us about it.22 We get dis goodness thru beleevin in Jebus.23 Evribodi haz maded Invisible Errors an iznint as good as Ceiling Cat,24 but we can go to teh ceilin enniwai bcz Jebus died to taek awai our Invisible Errors.25 Ceiling Cat did thingz dis wai on purpus,26 to show how niec he iz.

27 So u shudnt be braggin about followin teh law.28 Teh law iznt importnt, beleevin in Jebus iz.29 Ceiling Cat is not just for Joos. He iz for Gentiles too.30 Dere iz onli wun Ceiling Cat, an he wil taek caer of evribodi, Joos an Gentiles both.31 Duz dat mean teh law iz nothin? No LOL!!!11

Romans 3
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