From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
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Teh Week An Teh Strng
1 Pls plai wif teeny and week kittehs. Dont eated teh teeny kittehs.2 Gud kittehs can nom everytingz but teh bad kittehs can only eat teh carpetz.3 Teh kitteh hoo eated everytings must not scratchez teh wan hoo does not, an teh kitteh hoo doez not eated everytings must not scrath teh wan hoo doez, 4 ceelin cat hugs dem both. Srsly.4 Hoo gaiv u teh rite to hiss at summone elses hoomin? Teh hoomin fail or not fail to hoomins cat. Cuz teh Ceelin cat maek teh hoomin not fail.5 Sum kitteh liek cheezburgerz betta than cookies, fat cat liek bouf. Bouf r equalz.6 Hu liek to luke at fud, do it fo ceelin cat. Hu eated fud, do it fo ceelin cat and giv props to ceelin cat. Hu dont eate fud, do it fo ceelin cat an' givs props too, k?
7 Nobodies liv for selfbodies. Nobodies deades for selfbodies.8 If us liv, us liv for ceelin cat. If us dies, us dies for ceelin cat. So if we liv or die, teh ceelin cat owns us.9 Dats y Jebus deaded an' then respawn, so that he would own teh livers and the deaders.10 O hai, u there! Y u bullie ur brothar? An' u there, hai! Y u look at ur brothars pawes insted of noes?? Srsly. Were all gonna be ratefied bai teh ceelin cat.
Gettin backup for teh week kitteh
13 So lets not rate othar lolcats, k? Insted, maek soor yu dont do urz business in ur brothars litterbox so he wunt fail.14 In trust for ceelin cat ai no dat all fudz is naise and cleen but if summone think a fud is dirteh then iz dirteh for that speshul cat, kays?15 If ur brotha dunt liek ur fud, ur doin it wrong. Dunt eate the cats cookiez, whos ceelin cat deaded for. srsly.16 Pls let no cat badmuf ur likes.17 Ceelin cats kingdum isnt for eat, tis for not failing, peas and funfun givt bai teh hovrcat.18 Teh Ceelin cat givs u cookie if u do dis, k?
19 So lets maek peas and cookies d00dz.20 An' dunt eate the work of god pls. All fud iz gd butt yu fail if it maeks summone feel bad.21 U shudnt eate cheezburgerz an' drink juice an' evrithing that maeks ur brother sad. Its gd for u, k?22 Wutevah yu thinks bout thees things u shud keep betwin urselfs and ceelin cat.23 But the kitteh hu eates an' dunno wut to think, dunt get no cookies cuz the eating dunt come from fateh; an' evritin dat dunt come from fateh iz invisibl error.