Revelation 6

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New Testament

Teh Sealz

1 Den teh lamb opened one of teh 7 sealz and teh furst doodz say "Come and take lookz!"2 An behold der wuz white horse, wif a man sittin on it wif a bowz. An crown wuz given to him an he went out to take all cheezburgerz.

3 Den dat lamb opend nother seal and doodz say "Cum"4 Den anuther ridin red horse cum. He wuz allowed to takez all teh worldz cookiez and milkz, and send dem tu bedz eerly. Sum peeps mite die tu: an he can has great sword an stuffz.

5 He prozeded to opens nuther seal an big black horse cum. Living doodz say "Come" an he balanced stuff in hiz handz.6 An den sum dood said "Sum stir fry for denarius! An denarius 4 cheezburger! Better not eated mah cheezs and bradz!

7 An i oppeneded nuther seal an 4th dood say "Come and lookz!"8 Lo behold a pale horsez with a dood sitin on it, his naym wuz Deaths, an liek Hadez an stuff followd himz. Him had enuf skillz to kill lots of doodz, with antifreezez and curiositiez.

9 Den they openeded anuther sealz an under teh altarz there wuz all kitteh souls who had deded more than niyne timez. Basement Cat and pitt bulls done it cuz they tried to givez kittehs baths, diddnt like too much.10 Den teh voicez cries out "Ceiling Cat, how long wez sufferz untill you avengez our niyne deafs an drown dem pitt bullz, srsly?"11 Each of dem were givenz sum white robez. The shuld take napz for a whyle an den when all other kittiez die, they gittemm robez too.

12 Oh mai, they oppended nuther sealz there wuz big ground shaky. Teh sunz got all darky and teh moonz wuz bluudy. Wow.13 Den sum starz startin fallin. Kittehs be like "woez!".14 Later, teh skiez got brighted. All landz cum back tooo.

15 All teh kingz an queenz an generalz an luutinantz an princez an lordz an earlz an dukez an citizenz an peasantz an serfz an slavez an wimmenz an specially joo went to find shelterz.16 They saidz to teh mountainz "Fall downz on us and save ussses from teh wrath of teh lambz!"17 For finally he gotten really pissed, no kittehs should standz.

Revelation 6
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