Revelation 5

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New Testament
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Teh old-fasshun book-scroll an teh babi lamb

1 Then teh orange statchoo dood on teh fancy heaven chair has a paperz wif riting all over an 7 cookiez on it.2 An a leet kitteh yelled "Who can be eatin mah cookiez an be reedin teh majik paperz wif all teh riting?"3 But nobuddy anywheer can has teh paperz.4 So I cried.5 Then wun of teh old doodz sez: "Hei! No cryin'! Happycat pwns. He can eat teh 7 cookiez an has teh majik paperz!"

6 Then I seed a itty-bitty baby Lamb, lookin real dead. But it wuz standin on the fancy heaven chair an teh 4 aminulz and teh old doodz wuz around it. Teh itty-bitty baby Lamb has 7 hornz and 7 eyeses, which r also teh 7 kittehs of teh Ceiling Cat. (Liek teh 7 bukkits, member?)7 Teh itty-bitty dead baby Lamb stoled teh majik paperz from teh orange statchoo dood.8 When teh Lamb tooked teh paperz, all teh aminulz an all teh old doodz fell down again. An they all has harps an bowls of smelly stuff.9 An all tehm tings singed a new song:
"Yr so leet. You tooked teh paperz
an can eatz teh cookies
Cuz teh bad doodz killded you
An you saved everbuddy everwherr
wif yr blood."

10 "You made everwun so leet they can hang wif teh Ceiling Cat,
an totally pwn everting. Yr so awsum thx."

11 Then a bazillion kittehs gathered 'round an12 They singed:
"Teh itty-bitty dead baby Lamb is so gret
an can has power an moniez an smartz an be reel strong
an can has honorz an gloriez an praise! Srsly!"

13 Then everwun everwherr in heaven an not in heaven an in teh ground an in teh oshun an everting singded:
"Teh orange statchoo dood an teh itty-bitty baby Lamb
Can has praise an honorz an gloriez an powerz
totally 4vr!"
14 Teh 4 aminulz wif all teh eyez sez: "Srsly," an teh old doodz fell down again.

Revelation 5
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