Revelation 20

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New Testament

1 Meow! wat is dat hovr d00d doin wiv teh key to teh dip basement an a chain?2 Teh hovr d00d is liek, “Oh hai, Basement Cat, u is evilz an u is goin in teh dip basement 4 liek a rilly long time, d00d. Srsly.”3 An Basement Cat is frown into teh dip basement 4 lying to kittehz. Getz out in liek 1000 years but not 4 long tho, so no worryz.

4 An ai seen judgez on frones, an meow! teh gud kittehz has got liek no hedz just coz dey lieks Jebus an stuffz! Not bin worshipin idles or anyfin! Anyways, theyz bak to life an livin wif Jebus for liek 1000 years.5 Ded gud kittehz wiv heds has 2 wait 1000 years. Not gud.) Dis bak to life 1.6 Bak 2 life 1 kittehz pwn other kittehz, not even pwned by secund dedding. Deyz liek best matez wiv Jebus an Ceiling Cat, for liek 1000 years, srsly. MEOW how kool is dat?

7 Liek 1000 years laterz, Basement Cat gotted out of teh dip basement.8 An sez lying stuffs to all urths kittehz, so they want karate?.9 Loadz kittehz turnded up an are liek, “Oh hai, Ceiling Cat kittehz, we pwn you big stylez”, but den teh Ceiling makes teh firez an dey is all “Oh noes! Do not want!”.10 An Basement Cat is frown in a basement of fartz, wiv other evil kittehz to burn 24 7 forevers. Sry.

11 Meow!, is dat Ceiling Cat on teh white frone? Ys, coz Ceiling Cat is pwning the urths and stuffs.12 Ai see ded kittehz. Srsly. An dis hover d00d, he gets life book from teh Ceiling Cat library. The kittehz, deyz bein judged by whatz in teh life book.13 All ded kittehz deyz bein judged, even the rilly rilly hard onez 2 get at coz deys in teh sea an stuffs.14 Den death an Hades gets frown in teh fire lake. Oh noes! Dis teh secund dedding.15 Oh teh bery evil kittehz dem goin in teh fire basement also. Pwned!

Revelation 20
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