Revelation 13

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New Testament
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Heds up! A monstar cum outta oshun!

1 An I r in ur sandz looking at ur waterz: an OH NOES! A monstar camez out. He can has severn hedz an ten hornz: an can has ten crouwnz.2 An teh monstar I saws It iz layk big spotteded kitteh, an It can has pawz layk bear, an It can has mout layk big neck-fur kitteh. An Teh dragn gaved it teh powurz an teh chairz an teh autoritiez.3 An I sawz teh munster hurtz in teh hed: An laterz teh monstar hed he getz bettar: An evry pepls goes layk: OMFG! in wunder.4 An evry1 goes wrship teh munster an Evry1 goes wrship teh dragn bcuz he r haveing teh powurz. Any1 stolez hiz cheezburgerz? No wai!

5 An teh monstar sai bad of Ceiling Cat and he also sed teh monstar wuz clevar. He can has powurz 4 yeerz an yeerz.6 An teh monstar openez mout: An then he sed he h8z Ceiling Cat! OMG.7 An teh monstur wuntz 2 taek teh cheezburgerz form Ceiling Cat. Teh monstar goes layk: "I r in ur Urf killing ur d00dz an ur seints!": An teh monstar can has powurs obr Urf.8 An all teh pepls on teh Urf wrship him coz teh peplz namez not in Teh bookz of laif of teh ded lamb.

9 Listan j00.10 If U make kitteh goeth unto cat carrier then one dai U goeth unto car carrier. If kitteh eatz birdeh then kitteh getz eatanz one dai. Ceiling Cat saiz so keke.

Look Owt! A monstah cum outta teh urth!

11 An anothar monstar cumz form teh urf! Dis 1 can has too horn liek a lamb but soundz layk a dragn.12 An he haz teh powurz layk teh othar monstar. Ppl liek him 2.13 An he maeded Graet Wunderz: He r casting majik missel unto Urf. Scarey!14 An Evry1 wuz trixored. Letz maek a akshun film bcuz teh monstar iz strongar then Stevan Seegul.15 An Teh othar monstar maed evry1 watch teh film or he casted majik missil at tehm.16 An He maeded evry1 by it on vidio an dvd an teh speshun editiun. An maeded evry1 has markz on teh hed17 An U has a markz!! Or no moar cheezburgerz!18 Wisdom, I has it. Teh clevar ppl can do dis sum - wat iz 6 hundrad addad 3 tiemz twentey addad six. Taht is teh numbar of teh monstar!

Revelation 13
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