Revelation 11

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New Testament
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Teh two kittehs hoo saw ebberyting

1 I gotted a stik! I is sposed to mejur Ceiling Cat's tempul n altur n count all hiz frendz there.2 Xcept the outside part becuz dat is fer teh Gentiles. They iz gonna walk on Ceiling Cat's city fer 42 monfs!!! OMG!3 But 2 d00dz will wear bagz and get powerupz and tell the future fer liek 1,260 dayz!4 They are 2 olive treez n 2 lamps. I fink that makes 4 though.5 If u try to hurt dem fire comez out of their moufz n all teh enemiez get eated!!! n u get pwned.6 These 2 d00dz can shut teh sky n stop all teh rainz n turn teh watr 2 blood n maek u sick!! Ennitiem they want! Haha haxx!

7 But when they STFU a monstr will come up n pwn them!8 N their bodiz will lie in teh city streetz. Teh city iz calld Sodom n Egypt, but it iznt reeli. Ceiling Cat was pwned there too.9 Evribody will look at teh bodiz for 3 1/2 daiz but not do nuthing.10 Xcept say "HAHA PWNED" n send each othre prezents bcz the d00dz were so l337.11 But after that Ceiling Cat blowz on them n they come back 2 lief! They stand up n evribodi iz liek "WTF!"12 N Ceiling Cat sed "Come up here" n they went 2 heavn in a cloud! An everibodi just watched and was liek "WTF?"13 O an jus then there wuz an earthquake an 1/10 of teh city felled down. 7,000 peeplz wuz pwned and evribodi left was liek "Oh noes! Ceiling Cat iz teh gratest!"14 The 2nd trubl is ovr but the 3rd is on itz wai!

Teh sebbenth trumpit

15 Teh 7th ainjl plaid teh trumpet and sum d00d in heavn sed: "Teh world'z kingdum iz now Ceiling Cat's kingdum, n hiz son's 2! Ceiling Cat r00lz 4ever!" (Then Handel putted that in a song, it iz calld teh Haleluya Korris)16 And the 24 old d00dz fell off their chairz n tellded Ceiling Cat:17 "Ceiling Cat r00lz 4ever! thnx 4 kickng sum ass!18 Evribodi wuz pisst off but u gotted moar pisst off. Now judge teh dead n give prezentz 2 the good peoplez liek us. Also pwn the camperz kthnx."

19 And Ceiling Cat's tempul opened and u cud see teh ark of teh covnant. N there was lightningz and thunderz and hail and evn an earthquake!!!

Revelation 11
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