Psalm 38

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Old Testament
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1 O hai ceiling cat, plz to nawt be rebuking meh in ur wrath, n to nawt be chastning meh in ur hawt displesurez.

2 Fer ur arroes stick rly fast n me, n ur hand b pressin me soer.

3 Mah flesh b movins bcuz of ur angurz, n mah boenz b freekin out bcuz of mah invisible error.

4 Mah unequalness be gone ovr mah hed, for heavy birdun is heavy.

5 Mah woondz r stinkeh n r corupt bcuz of mah st00pid.

6 I has trublez, I is bowd down alot, I be mourning alot. Liek all day, srsly.

7 Fer mah harbl be filld wif a rly bad sikknes. N liek I sed, mah flesh b movins.

8 Ai is feebul n soer brokeded- I has rawrd bai reezen of de movinness of mah flesh.

9 Ceiling cat, all mah desirez r belong to u and mah groeninz nawt be hidded from yu.

10 Mah haert b pantin, my stranth b EPIC FAIL, n mah aiz cant has liet.

11 No one understnds meeee, srsly.

12 Pplz b tryin to keel meh n talk bahd stuffs bout me n stuffs.

13 But I nawt b heerin thows bad stuffses n i saed nuffin.

14 So I liek herd n said nuffin. Srlsy.

15 But I hoep u herd ceiling cat. Hoep yu b heering dis stuffses.

16 Plz to b halping meh ceiling cat, so them cant has parteh bout me loesin.

17 Im bout reddy to stop cuz i has run out of happeh.

18 N I declaer mah unequalness n be sry for mah invisible error liek whoa.

19 But mah enumees b rly rly lively n strong n stuffs n dey haet me.

20 Dem b doin ebil stuffs but I be doin gud stuffs nao.

21 Donchu b goin way from me ceiling cat. Stay wif me.

22 Plz to b halping me, kthxbai.

Psalm 38
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