Psalm 22

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Old Testament

1 omg y u haz left me? I iz cryin it is no can haz be hugs time now?

2 I callz u all dai, u no talk. I callz all nite, I no can haz sleepz.

3 u is on teh thrones, gettin praised by teh Israel.

4 u is be gettin trusted by teh ancesters. u is savin themz.

5 they was be callin u and ezcapin from dangerz. dey was be trustin u.

6 I is no longer bein cat. now iz just worms. nobody wants it to haz be hugs time now.

7 everyone seez me iz liek "lolcat" and shakez headz.

8 dey iz liek "u luv teh cieling cat, he no saves u. lolcat, he no liek u."

9 u made me born safe. u luv me when I haz waz bein cute kitten in bowl.

10 I luvz u alwayz, u alwayz iz watchin me masticate.

11 Dun go! No one else will halp. srsly.

12 OK so there iz buckits all around.

13 dey is haz me! oh no!

14 me is wax cat. wax cat is wax and haz no strengths.

15 throat iz liek dry. my tongue is in my mouth, stickin.

16 dere is invisible bikes round meh. dey runs over meh.

17 mah enemeez iz liek "we can see ur bonez"

18 dey iz liek "I get hiz clothez!"

19 Ceiling Cat! keep wachings!

20 dun let invisible bike hit me!


22 I tells othur cats bout yoo Ceiling Cat. I masticates fur u.

23 Everyone masticates fer Ceiling Cat!

24 He watch alls masticates!

25 I masticates in front of everyones fer u Ceiling Cat! U watch! I gives you cheezburgers!

26 Teh poor can haz cheezburgers too! All dey is wantings!

27 Ceiling Cat pickshur never get deleted! He watch everyone fur evar!

28 Ceiling Cat rules teh ceilings.

29 All proud cats masticates fer him. All mortuhls masticates fer him.

30 He watches all cats in futoor masticates.

31 Even cats not born be told "Ceiling Cat is watching you masticate."

Psalm 22
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