Psalm 139

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Old Testament
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1 O hay, Ceiling Cat, You knows me rly gud right?

2 You knows when I sits, and when I is dun sittin'. You is liek a psychic, but not one o teh fake psychics. You dun readed my mind.

3 When I goes out mah kitteh door, and when I lays down in mah basket, You knowed it. I looked up 1 tiem and sawed you watchin me do somefin embarsing, but You still likeses me!

4 B4 I meows, You dun already knowed what I is gonna meow (but I meow anywai).

5 You tucks me into mai basket and gives me pets on mai hed.

6 Is 2 wunderful to knows, mai brainz not big nuff.

7 Where can I be hided frum U? U is everywhere.

8 When I goes in teh ceiling, I see U. I was sleepin in da basement 1 tiem and U dere 2.

9 If I had birdie wings and flewed me morningtimes 2 other side of teh neighbrs pool and hided reel gud in teh bushes,

10 You'd still finded me and give me hug tiems.

11 I dun thinked "I is sooper sneeky, and is invisible ninja kitteh at nite! Plus I knockded over teh tabl lamp 4 moar darks."

12 But You's got teh glowy kitteh eyes and can sees me when it's dark!

13 You dun made mai kittiness, and putted me in mah momma's tummy.

14 You dun a good job, I is teh awesome! Sos other stuffs U maked, I knows.

15 Mai bones, You dun seed them bein made. S'posed to be sekrit, but not 2 U.

16 Ur glowin kitteh eyes dun sawed me fore I was me. An U have big word book wit all mah pwnages and exploytes and stuffs writ down. Even ones I din't do yets!

17 When U thinks things, that thinkin's rly kewl. An You gots moar thotts than other peeples cause yur rly kewl.

18 You gots so many thoughtses, moar than anythin. Moar than mai litter box has gots sandses, which is alot. I wakeses up (in mai basket, not in mai littrbox) an U r there.

19 O hay Ceiling Cat, y dont U pwn moar bad guise? Teh baddies, dont want!

20 Theys all liek "Celling Kat U R noob! All your bases are belong to us!" an they's spelted Ur name wrong an stuff!

21 I hates them.

22 I rly rly rly hates them.

23 I is moar better then them! I thinks... Can U check?

24 Sos we'll know 4 sure, U should check, an if Im doin bad, U call "Here teh kitty kitty", k? So's I can come live wit U 4-evah.

Psalm 139
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