From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Y, O Ceiling Cat, is u so far awayz in teh ceiling?
Y is u hidin when dere is troubles?
2 Teh bad kittehs hunts teh weak kittehs
and dey gets caughts in his paws. Oh noes!
3 Tehy talks lots bout bein hungry for cheezburger,
den blessteses dem who hateses Ceiling Cat.
4 Dey don't talks 2 Ceiling Cat,
srsly, cuz dey 2 stoopid 2 thinks of Ceiling Cat.
5 Dey has lots of monies for cheezburgers,
dey stick up der noses
an laffs at deh ppls an stuff.
6 Dey sayz, "No want u 2 shake mees;
am chillin, kkplsthx."
7 Bad kittehs sayz bad wordz
wif der evil haery tungzes.
8 Bad kittehs sit an waet
to pounce on teh gud kittehs
and pwn tehm to deth.
9 "I are LION" sayz bad kitteh
all waitin on teh ground to catch pore kittehs
him catch them drags then off in da invisible nets.
10 Teh good kittehs get crusheded and dun wakes up.
He srsly pwned tehm.
11 Bad kitteh sayz, "Ceiling Cat is stoopid,
he dun see nuthin from teh ceiling! Srsly."
12 Jump, Ceiling Cat, lift ups yr paws
helpz teh poor kittehs kplsthx!
13 Y do teh bad kittehs haet Ceiling Cat?
Y deh sayz,
"Ceiling Cat won't watch us masturbate"?
14 But Ceiling Cat seez the troubles an griefs
an yu raiz ur pawz
and helpz bastard kittehs.
15 Use ur lazer eyes on teh bad kittehs
an srsly pwn tehm
Hoo tryz to hide badness in teh houseplants.
16 Ceiling Cat will watch u masturbaet foreverz and everz,
17 Ceiling Cat hearz teh mewzes and purrses of teh weak kittehs
and sayz, "Go for it!"
18 U keep the bastard kittehs safe from teh bad kittehs
cuz dey DO NOT WANT!
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