Proverbs 9

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Old Testament

1 Wisdom has builded her hawse; she cutted seven pillurs but dey is not soft kind.

2 She has maked teh cheezburgers an Gatorade; she putted tehm on teh table.

3 She has sended lotta chix0rz to delivr msgs, an den she stands wai up on top of teh hawse an callz.

4 "O hai. n00bz com in heer. Srsly!" she sai to peepelss who is not so smrt.

5 "Eat dis cheezburger an drikn dis Gatorades I maded.

6 Stop bein' dum and u can has lief; walk wif unnerstandin'.

7 "If u has a flamewar wif a troll, u gonna lose; if u feed troll u get pwnt bai ten moar.

8 Dun tell trollz tehy doin it wrong or tehy haet u; but if u tell a wiez man he doin it rawng he luv u an sai thx dood.

9 Shayr yur nolleges wif teh wiez kittehz an he lern even moar thn befoar; teech a riteshus man how to do it rite an he get moar smrt.

10 "Bein' skaird of Ceiling Cat is whar wizdumz coms from, knowin' lotsa stuff maek u smrt.

11 I is maek u live srsly long tiem, an Imma put years on ur lief.

12 If u is wies, ur wisdum bring u cheezburgers; if ur a troll, u sux an has no frends."

13 Teh stoopid wimmun iz loud; she crazy an u will needs earplugz.

14 She sit in teh d00r ov her hawse, an is also hai up on top ov her hawse,

15 callin' to n00bs passin bai, who is liek walkin in strate liens liek ceiling cat towld dem.

16 "O hai nOObz com intoo mah hawse yu liek it - it nise in heer!" she sai 2 dum guyz.

17 "dis stolded waters iz yummi; an seekritli hom nom nommd cheezburgerz iz teh bestest!"

18 But tehy dunno taht her hawse is fulla ded d00dz, taht her gests r all goez to hellz an tahtz bad. Srsly DO NOT WANT.

Proverbs 9
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