Proverbs 8

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Old Testament
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Teh Call ov Wisdum

1 Wisdom uses ALL CAPS

Understanding iz also uses ALL CAPS

2 She iz all like "OH HAI" on topz of a hill

She iz rite by teh roadz

3 She iz in ur cityz,

at yur doorz, olwaiz yuzin ALL CAPS

4 She sez "OH HAI, DOODZ

I IZ SPEAKIN TO U, DOODZ - ALL OF YUZ!!!SRSLY

5 IF YU IZ DUMB YU HAZ TO GET SMRT

ALL U NOOBZ, FIGUR IT OUT, RLY

6 I SPEEK OF TEH BUKKITZ AND BURGERZ N STUFF

FROM MY MOUF COMEZ ONLEE TEH GUD STUFFS

7 SRSLY I IS ONLEE SPEEKING TEH TRUFS - I IS NOT LIEKIN TEH LIEZ NO WAI!!!

8 LIEK SRSLY, I AM NOT TRYIN TO FOOL U NOOB

I IZ NOT LINKIN U TO GOATSE

9 NOLLEGE YU MUST HAV DOODZ - NOLLEGE B GUD!!

10 PAY ATTENSHUNS MY ROOLZ IZ BETTER DAN BLING, DAN CHEEZBURGERZ EEVUN

11 WIZDUMZ IZ BETTAR THAN TEH RUBIEZ

EVEN UR 40 GIGZ OF PR0N IZ NOT AS HOT AS HER

12 WIZDUMZ N PRUDENCE R LIEK BFF

WE IS SMRT TOGETHER, SRSLY

13 IF U FRAYD OF CEILING CAT U NO LIEK TEH EVIL;

I NO LIEK TEH ATTENSHUN HORS, ACTIN LIEK DOG AN NON-LOLCAT SPEEK.

14 COWNSIL AN NOIN WUT TO DO, I HAS DEM;

NOIN WUTS WUT AN TEH FORSE, I HAS DEM TOO.

15 TEH KINGZ ROOL ONLY CUZ I SEZ DEY CAN ROOL,

AN DAY MAEKZ GUD ROOLZ.

16 AN PRINCEZ AND TEH NOBEL KITTEHZ HOO ROOL ON DE URF ONLY ROOL CUZ I SEZ SO.

17 I IZ LUVIN ALL KITTEHS HOO LOVES ME, I IS NOT HIDING NEWHERES IF U IS LUKIN FOR ME U WILL FIND ME.

18 I HAZ MUCH TOYZ AN CHEEZBURGERS FUR OLWAYZ. I WILL SHAYRZ DEMZ WIF YU

19 MY CHEEZBURGERS IS BETTER DAN NETHIN ELSE - SRSLY.

20 I IZ LIEK TOETALLI GUD - SRSLY.

21 I WILL GIVE MUCH CHEEZBURGERZ TO DOZE HOO LUVS ME.

22 CEILING CAT MAKEDED MEH FURST - BEFOR NETHIN ELSE WAZ MAKED.

23 I WAZ MAKDED FRM OLWAYZ - BEFORE TEH URF WAS HERE.

24 I WAZ BORNED WHEN DER WAZ NO OSHUNS, NO WATERS AT ALL.

25 BEFORE NE BIG MOUNTENS R HILLZ FUR CLIMBING WAZ MAKED I WAZ BORNED.

26 BEFORE TEH URF WAS MAKED R NE OF TEH DUST DAT MAKE KITTEHS SNEEZ I WAZ MAKED.

27 I WAZ MAIKEDED BEFOR CEILING CAT MAIKEDED HIMZ OWN HAWSE WER HE LIVZ FUREVUR WIF ALL GUD KITTEHZ HOO IZ DED - WEN HE MAKEDED TEH SKAI ON TEH URFS I WAZ DER - SRSLY I SAWDED IT WIF MAH OWN IEEZ.

28 I SAWED TEH CEILING CAT PUT TEH LEFT OVUR SHEEPS UP IN TEH SKAIZ AN DEN HE MAIKS DE WATERS DAT SHUUTZ UP IN DE SKAIZ AND MAIKS EVURYFING ALL WET - HE CALL DEM FOWNTANZ

29 DEN I SEEIZ HIM MAIKING DE LANDZ SO TEH KITTEHZ CAN STAY DRIEZ - CAWZ TEH KITTEHZ NOT LIEK TEH WATERZ NO WAI!!!.

30 DEN TEH CEILING CAT HE LET ME HALP HIM AN DIS MAIK ME VEWEE HAPPI

31 AN I LIEKDED TEH PEEPELZ TOO DEY MAIK ME HAPPI AZWEL.

32 SO LISSEN TO MAH NOOBZ IF YU BE LIEK MEH DEN YU BE HAPPI - KTHX.

33 FOLLOH MAH ROOLZ AN OLWAIZ MEMBER YUR WIZDUM.

34 CUM SEE MEH AT MAH HAWSE SRSLY - NOK ON DOOR I LET YU IN - YU BE HAPPI DEN SRSLY.

35 YU FIND ME YU MAIK CEILING CAT HAPPI AN HE LIEK YU LOTS AN BE SOOPER NISE TO YU.

36 IF YU NOT BE MAH FREND, IF YU NOT FIND MEH DEN YU BAD KITTEH AN YU BE DED - SRSLY!!!!.

Proverbs 8
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