Proverbs 3

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Old Testament
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1 Nevur furget waht I iz tellin yu an obei mah rOOlz

2 If yu iz dooin waht yu iz told yu hav long gud liefs and be happi

3 trufs iz a gud fing - an beein nise to uver kittehs evun wen dey b meen to yu kthx

4 if yu iz dooing deez fingz den ceiling cat b happi wif yu an yu have lots of kitteh frends

5 Trust in teh Ceiling Cat wif all ur heartsez an trust not yurselves’ nolleges.

6 In evwee wai aknollege teh Ceiling Cat an He sho yu how not to get losted and stuffz.

7 If yu is skaird of making teh ceiling cat mad den yu not be ebil and dat b kool kthx

8 it be gud for yu - make yu big strong kitteh like popeye!

9 Giv awner to teh ceiling cat - tellz him offen dat yu iz lieking him an finking he nise guii

10 den he make shoor yu olwaiz hav lots an lots ov cheezburgers an catnipz

11 if Ceiling Cat tellz yu taht yu is doing sumfing rawng den yu mus do it difrent liek how ceiling cat want

12 fur he onlee do dis to make yu betur kitteh - srsly!

13 He onlee do dis to gives yu teh wizdumz - wizdumz makes yu happi - srsly d00dz!

14 wizdumz iz betur tahn cookiez - it iz eevun betur tahn cheezburgerz! SRSLY!!!

15 eevun betur dan jooelz an nefing yuz can fink of - SRSLY!!!

16 Wizdumz giv yu long liefs - wen yuz be happi an haves lots of frendz, she also giv yu cheezburgerz!!!

17 Wizdumz iz makin yur liefs all peecefulz an nise

18 Wizdumz iz liek a big scrachin post wif lots of catnips on it - it make yu feel gud - srsly dOOdz - an yu stai happi fur long tiem

19 Ceiling Cat hav lots of wizdumz - an dis halp him wen he makeded de urfs an den agen wen he makeded teh ceiling wer he liv furevur wifs all teh ainchel kittehs hoo iz all vewee priti an sing nise songs

20 Ceiling Cat hav lots of nolleges so he can no how to make de raynz n stuffs

21 So to be liek teh Ceiling Cat yuz must keeps yur wizdumz an not be goin arownd liek a n00b tellin all the pplz evryfings yuz iz noing - srsly

22 teh wizdumz b liek nise pretti collarz wif dymondz taht yuz can wayr on yur nekz - but it not chohk yuz or get cawt in nefings

23 Teh wizdumz halp yu to go on saif path wer yu iz not fallin downz

24 an if yu iz having wizdumz yu iz not being skaird wen yu iz lying down an yu iz having gud sweeps

25 an if yu iz gud kitteh den yu evun not b skaird wen i iz sending punishment to teh ebil kittehz coz yu iz noing nufing b happenin to yu

26 Cauz Ceiling Cat - he b nise to himz frendz

27 an yuz mus be liek teh ceiling cat an b nise to yur frendz - srsly

28 shayr yur cheezburgerz wif yur nayburs

29 an don jus b given dem teh gon off cheezburgerz - DO NOT WANT

30 Don b gettin drunk an starten teh fites!!! Srsly

31 Don b doin waht teh ebil kittehz iz doin evun if dey iz makin lots of cookiez an eaten dem awl up an yu iz finking if yu iz liek teh ebil kittehz yu can hav lots of cookiez too!

32 If yu iz doing dis Ceiling Cat will nevur b yur frend - EVUR!!!! SRSLY!!!!

33 an he curse yur hawse an it fall down - srsly. but if yu iz being nise kitteh he make shoor yu iz having nise hawse wif lots of fluffi pillohs fur sweepsin on

34 if yu iz bein rood kitteh den teh ceiling cat be rood to yu

35 But if yu iz having teh wizdumz den yu iz gettin de cheezburgerz! Srsly kthx!

Proverbs 3
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