From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Bettah to hav jus a cople biskits in nies kwiet plase than lots of nom from a mean hoomin.
2 Teh poor kitteh that has a wise is bettah than teh rich kitteh wif a stoopidz.
3 Teh snif for catnip an teh clawz for hoomin, but Ceiling Cat tests a kitteh's hart.
4 A bad kitteh lissens to evil lipses, n a kitteh that tels liys pay atenshun to a nastee tung.
5 Teh kitteh hoo LOLs at teh poor duz not luv teh Ceiling Cat hoo maded thems, n if they ar so bad that they sayz "n00b!" to othas wen bad stuffs hapun then they wil be pwned.
6 Big ol kittehs luvs ther littel grankittehs, and kittehs alwase thinks ther mum and daddy kittens ar da bestest.
7 Kittehs hoo noes they hav not gots teh smarts shud not be aragant, but is wurse if an importent kitteh tels teh liys!
8 Kittehs hoo do teh bribes wil alwase sukseeds, cos they ar liek majick!
9 Is gud for kittehs to fuget bad stuffs, but if a kitteh has to do it moar than wunce then ther frends mite not liek them no moar.
10 Sensable things impres teh kitteh wif a wise, silly things impres teh kitteh wif a stoopidz.
11 Evil kittehs want to change teh happee hoam wif ther hoomin, n scairy mean kittehs wil chais them.
12 Is bettah to jump on teh dog's hed than meet a kitteh in teh stoopidz.
13 If a kitteh desaids to be evil, teh evil wil neva goes away.
14 Maeking an argue is liek askin yor hoomin for a baf (DO NOT WANT), so stop it befoar teh water coms on!
15 Ceiling Cat duz not liek it wen gilty kittehs gets away wif stuffs an wen innasent kittehs get pwned instead.
16 Ther no point in to giv munnies to kitties wif teh stoopidz becos they neva want to get a wise.
17 A frend wil alwase luv, n a brutha is maed for playfites!
18 A kitteh wifout teh wise dus not trust ther nayber kittehs.
19 Kittehs hoo luv to argue luv teh invisible error, n kittehs hoo maek ther hoomin get a kitteh scairer is askin to be pwned.
20 Kittehs hoo ar bad in teh hart doan do wel, an if they tel liys they gets pwned.
21 A kitten wif teh stoopidz maeks its daddy kitteh sad.
22 If you is happee you feel bettah, but if yous is not then you wil feel sick.
23 Bad kittehs do secret bribes jus to maek shoor fings doan go rite! (DO NOT WANT).
24 A kitteh hoo has a wise keeps an ai on it, but a kitteh wif teh stoopidz look all around liek they is crazee.
25 A kitteh wif teh stoopidz maeks its daddy kitteh sad n its mummy kitteh wish it had a wise.
26 It is bad to pwn an innasent kitteh, an it is also bad to pwn kittehs tryin to do teh rite fing.
27 A kitteh hoo has a wise thinks bout wot to say bafor they sez it an stase carm, not all crazee.
28 Even a kitteh wif teh stoopids can look liek they has a wise if they maek shoor not to speek.
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