Proverbs 16

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Old Testament
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1 Sumtiemz yu mite be thinkin u no wat yu wanna sez, butt then CEILING CAT iz liek "lol no sez this insted."

2 Sumtiemz yu mite b thinkin "iz not durty rite??", but then CEILING CAT iz all "no u ar RLY durty. Srsly."

3 If yur workin bcuz to maek CEILING CAT hapy, ur doin it rite.

4 CEILING CAT maeks all stuffz bcuz stuffz iz importnt. Even bad kittehs sumtiemz.

5 Dunt b all stuck up or elz CEILING CAT will be liek "wtf?!! u suk."

6 If yuz been teh bad kitteh then uz bettar start givin kittehz hugz or sumthin. U dun want CEILING CAT to be ANGORY do u???

7 If ya maek CEILING CAT smielz, even teh lame kittehz wil bee yur freindz.

8 If yu has not much cookeiz, butt ur nice, thatz goooood. If yu haz tons uv cookeiz, but ur rly meen, thatz baaaaaaad kitteh.

9 U mite wanna go too tha cowch, but CEILING CAT tellz ya hao to git ther.

10 If ur teh top cat, yu bettar do gud wen ur bossin othr kittehz arownd.

11 Only CEILING CAT noes hao many cheezburgrz iz to many and hao many is jus rite.

12 Top catz bettar b gud kittehz, or elz theyz shud git kickd outta tha gud chair.

13 Top catz luv gud kittehs cuz gud kittehz r gud.

14 When top catz git mad tehy git RLY mad so u bettur gives em hugz or sumthin.

15 Top catzes faecs ar liek pretee ballz, an wen dey liek u itz liek playin in teh spirnklar. Srsly iz rly niec.

16 Itz wai bettar to haz brainz then to haz cheezburgerz. An when ppl no u haz brainz itz bettar then hazin cookiez.

17 Smrt kittehs know the safest way to da litterbox, and dey don't get mugged!

18 I alredy sed dun bee stuck up. But srsly, dunt.

19 Itz wai bettar to poor dan to haz lotsa cheezburgers and be ebil.

20 lizen wen CEILING CAT telz sumtin an dew wut he sez.

21 Ppl liek u an lizen to u ifz u haz brainz.

22 Smrts will give u +1 life, but if ur st00pid, den u'll get in trubbl.

23 Smrt kittehs think b4 dey say sumthin st00pid, and also help giv udder kittehs smrt too.

24 Nice wurdz iz yumier den cheezburgerz.

25 It might look rite, but rly, it's RONG, and u'll be ded. srsly.

26 Hungry kittehs make good werkers, cuz dey is hungry and gotta werk for dere cheezburgers.

27 Bad kittehs r always planning bad stuffz, and dey can shoot fire out of dere moufs!! Not rly, but dey still make lots of trubbl like a fire.

28 Dun be a drama llama. Ppl hate drama llamas.

29 Kittehs who skratch bring udder kittehs down. :(

30 Look out for ppl who wink a lot. It prolly means dey haf ebil plans.

31 Old kittehs r smrt. How u tink dey get so OLD? Dey know were all da cheezburgers is hid.

32 Patient kittehs r wai better dan fightin kittehs. srsly. Dey will put up wif u wen ur bein dumb. Fightin kittehs juss kill u.

33 Dere is no Lady Luckycat. Dere's only Ceiling Cat. And he makes da decishunz.

Proverbs 16
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