From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Smrt kitty is gud listner, but hozer runz awai if master sez "bad kittah!"
2 Kittah hoo iz sayin teh nise fings he getz gushy foods, but bad kittah hav to eets teh dog foods (DO NOT WANT!!!!!)
3 kitteh hoo iz keeping hiz trap shut iz pleezing teh ceiling cat an he hav nise lief but kitteh hoo iz howling an yarling he is dying SRSLY
4 Napz r nice I iz noin dis srsly, but if u keeps hounding for treets, lief will b gud.
5 Gud kitty not liek teh not trufs but ebil wiked kitteh he b havin teh bad smell an all uver kittehs be liek 'He stinkee no go neer him'.
6 Honest kittah is safe, but bad kittah is full of fail.
7 Kitteh hoo onlee look for treets an iz not cayring bowt nefing else nevur b reelee rich but kitteh hoo iz giving awai lots of cheezburgerz he maek lots of frendz hoo luv him an be rich!
8 Lots of treetz invites teh meen doggiez, but hngry kittah is OK!
9 Gud kitty has teh sunshine, but bad kitty doz not get to b solar.
10 prowd kitteh he fall down hard an hurt hizself but kittehz who iz not prowd an iz lissenin to wat dey teecherz is sain dey has wizdumz (DO WANT!!!)
11 Not honest catnipz will go bai bai, but werk hard for yur catnips an keeps it saifs in yur bukits an yu will ern lots of nice catnips wich maek yu happi
12 Can not has makes sad kittah, but when kittah can has, things is happy.
13 Wen teh ceiling cat b tawkin u better lissens gud an u will get treetz! but if yu not lissen yu get punishd
14 Smrt kittah knows gud stuff and keep u from eeten fings taht r not for kittahs.
15 Kittah hoo lissen b popyuler, kittah wif invizabel lissenin eerz will b teh fail.
16 Smrt kitty attacks toezes coz he knows they r gud 2 attak, but dum kittah attacks things that are not gud, like doggiez.
17 If yu iz bringing man hiz sox, he iz giving u treeetz. If u leeves hayrball in hiz sox, yu not get treetz no wai.
18 If yu iz lissening wen man sez, "bad kittah!" an not pee on teh sofa wan moar tiem, u will get treetz, not a bonk on teh noes.
19 Is happi to finally get yur gushy foods, but if yu is a dum kitteh hoo is doin ebil an yu iz desidin not to do ebil no maorz den yu iz feelin vewee bad cawz yu iz reealizin all teh ebil bad fings yu dun! SRSLY
20 To b moar wiez, nap wif wiez cat, not invizabel jet ski cat he iz sillee cat wif no nolleges an yu onlee fall off invizabel jet ski an hurt yurselfs.
21 Bad kittah gets his tail stept on all teh time, but gud kittah always gets teh skritches!
22 Gud cat leevz catnip mouses for grandkittiez, but meen cat gets hiz mouses takin awai and givn to teh gud baybee kittiez.
23 Ur food dish mai b full of teh chows, but meen peepels kiks it over for teh doggiez to eet. Yuz yur jujmint an eet kwiklee befoar peepels com
24 Ur peepels bonk u on teh noes wen yu coff hairballz on teh chayr coz dey loves yu an wants to giv yuz teh nolleges dat iz not nise to coff teh hairballz on teh chayrs (nollege is gud - DO WANT!!) If dey not luv yu dey let yu coff hairballz evrywher an nevur kleen dem up - dis yuckee (DO NOT WANT!!!!)
25 Gud kittah get all teh gushy foods he wants, but meen kittah get onlee invizabul dinur so he olwaiz be hungree
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