Proverbs 1

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Revision as of 02:36, 9 November 2007

Old Testament


1 O hai, I r Solomon: David iz mai dad an I rulz Israel.2 Wisdom, I has it. Wordx of undrstand, I seez dem.3 An b a fair an joost d00d,4 An be liek yoda an' stuffs,5 A d00d shoud get skooled,6 So's they can figgur out hows teh doornobs werk.7 Bein' scared of teh Ceiling Cat iz pretty good start. But you needs pay attention 2 ur teecher too.


8 Lissen to ur pop, and do wut ur momma sez, srsly,

9 Cuz thay will buy u sum cookies.

10 If sum d00d wants to steal cheezburgr, don't halp him.

11 If he sez, "omg, lets hied ovr here, an' jump on doodz,

12 Lets eated them,

13 An' taek all teh cookies thay has,

14 An' eat teh cookies,"

15 Yuo do not want! Do not eated anybuddy or thier cookies.

16 D00dz liek dat iz evul.

17 Cuz if yuo eat teh cookies,

18 Teh cookies really eated u.

20 Wisdom posts on teh internets, n edits wikipedia.

21 she posts in threadz on 4chan and somethingawful:

22 "How long, ye simple kittehs, will ye love simplicity? and the luzors delight in their lulz, and fools hate knowledge?

23 Turn you at my reproof: behold, I will pour out my spirit unto you, I will make known my words unto you.

24 Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;

25 But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:

26 I also will LOL at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh;

27 When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.

28 Then shall they call upon me, but I will not answer; they shall seek me early, but they shall not find me:

29 Dum d00dz kno feerz Ceiling Cat:

30 They would none of my counsel: they despised all my reproof.

31 Therefore shall they eat of the fruit of their own way, and be filled with their own devices.

32 For the turning away of the lolcat shall slay them, and the return of lolrus's bucket shall destroy them.

33 But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil."

Proverbs 1
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