Philippians 3

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New Testament
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Doodz r sneekeh, k?

1 Oh Hai, liek be happy cuz yu inside Ceiling Cat!!!11! Ai can tellz yuz stufz so yuz doan get wetz, k?2 Dogz iz stinkeh. Dey wantz to cutz off yur forskinz. OMG!3 But weez prai to Ceiling Cat and sez Jebus iz full of win, so weez can haz forskinz. Not konfidentent.

4 Iz konfidentent5 Ate day, iz ah Joo.6 Iz followded teh law n PWNed many church doodz, k? Srsly.7 Iz thunk it mattererded, but Jebus wuz all liek "Nope, kthkbye".8 Nuttin matterers wifout Jebus. Jebus iz more betteh den cheezeburgers. Jebus make cheezeburgers luk liek poo. Iz ken frow away all mai stufz so I ken knowz Jebus.9 I wanna bee part of Jebus. Been Okeedokee wif Ceiling Cat doant com frum roolz. Itz cuz Iz beeleeves in Jebus. Itz frum Ceiling Cat. Iz getz it frum faif.10 I wanna knoe Jebus betteh. I wanna knoe whut hovrded Jebus from def and knoe hiz hurtz.11 Den Ceiling Cat will hovr me.

Neveh gonna gif yu up

12 Iz doant haz dat stufz. Iz notz purfecks, k? But Iz keep moovin to getz what Jebus wantz me to getz.13 Kittehs, I knoed bout soem stufz, but I eated it. Iz onlie knoes bout da fewcher.14 Ceiling Cat wants me to haz Cheezeburger. Jebus iz teh troo Cheezeburger.15 Maibee yu doant agreez, puhfect d00d, but Ceiling Cat will say "Oh Hai, Yu iz rong, kthkbye".16 Srsly.

17 Kittehs, get otha kittehs an bee liek mee.18 (Iz keepz repeetin mysef, but now Iz cryin. Lotz of teh kittehs are stinkeh aginst teh cross of Jebus.19 Ceiling Cat be eated them, k? Dey luv cheezeburgers more den Jebus, an are all liek "I love invisible error! Iz so greatz! Lookz at my new hat, kthkbye".)20 Butz weez talk in teh ceiling. An Jebus cums to saef weez.21 Jebus iz full of win an ken maek weez liek him. Den Weez be full of win, too, k?


Philippians 3
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