Philemon 1

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New Testament
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1. O hai Philemon, iz Paul n mai bro Timothy.

2. N hai 2 2 Apphia and Archippus. N 2 evrywun.

3. Invisible Man n hiz famly sez hai 2.

4. I tol Invisible Man bout u wen I wuz prayin.

5. I biggid u up. Srsly.

6. I hopez ur faiths is goode becuz u sees teh goode stuffs we can maek fore teh Invisible Man.

7. Ur luff n 'currigment maeks me LOL, becuz teh hartz uf teh saynts is moar bettr, k mah brudder?

8. And so I sez to u fore u to do teh stuffs naow, k?

9. U shuld do teh stuffs becuz I (BTW: I iz Paul; I iz teh olde prizner) luffs u.

10. I iz does tihs becuz uf Onesimus, him iz mah kidz.

11. Him wuz teh n00b, but naow he haz teh uses and can does teh stuffs.

12. I sendz him--him mah hartz!--2 u naow, k?

13. I lieks him 2 b wif me, becuz he can do teh stuffs insted uf u becuz I iz prizner;

14. but I duznt lieks do teh stuffs taht maeks u sez "Do not want!"

15. Idk, mebbe him iz gon so taht him can be bak l8r?

16. Ha! Hiz not ur slave, hiz liek teh brudder, kinda fore me and a lotz fore u, he iz srsly brudder and invisible brudder.

17. So u giv Onesimus cheezburgr. Fries too, laik u giv me, k?

18. Honest, I pay for cheezburgr.

19. U get for both.

20. N a bukkit of pepsy 2. Kthx.

21. I knoes taht u can does a lotz uf teh stuffs.

22. BTW: I iz comes and lives wif u guys l8r.

23. Epaphras iz prizner too. He sez "Oh hai."

24. Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke sez "Oh hai."

25. Kthxbai.

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