From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
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Ze story of ze basement cat and him brothzer Ceiling Cat.
Once long ago there waz two brothzer katz; Basement Cat and Ceiling Cat, srsly. They was real friends and brothzerz and they loved each ozer. But one dai Hover Cat lookded at him two sons and decidedd Ceiling Cat wuld be ruler ovr everyting good and Basement Cat eizer hav noting or b King of de Undr Wrld. Ceiling Cat began da creating of ze wurld wen Basement Cat helped him sick fathzer. Hover Cat died and Ceiling Cat banish’d Basement Cat to ze basement of him good wrld he had made himself, srsly. Basement Cat says he will avenged ze death oz him fathzer and he will kill Ceiling Cat. But becuz Hover Cat already sayed Ceiling Cat be ruler – the Ceiling Cat haz much power and ignorded him brothzer. Basement Catz eyes becam much bigger an’ he haz good seeing in ze dark. Ceiling Catz power grew larger and him supporters bekame a lot. Soon Basement Cat waz onli seen wen anyone died or ventured deep down t oze basement. Mani ppl forgotted about Basement Cat and blindli followed him more popular brothzer – Ceiling Cat. But sumtimes ze Basement Cat wuld show ze wrld above him sooper powers & ppl remembered him greatness!! But zen Ceiling Cat smited him so him fur goes up and makes funneh sparks. Ze goast of ze Hover Cat kame up to ze Ceiling Cat and sayed zat he was dissapointded in him and that Ceiling Cat needed a new buddy to halpz him wit him mission of trut. So wit ze wurd oz him daddy, Ceiling Cat kreated new kitteh tew halp him. Him name waz Happy Cat and him waz Ceiling Catz son. Soon evry ppl were followeh Happy Cat and in turn Ceiling Cat. Fathzer and son were ruling ze wrld happyly witout much thinkin bout ze Basement Cat. Sumtime in histry of ze wrld of Ceiling Cat and Happy Catz gud ppl zer were badder ppl tew. Liek Kitler. Adolf Kitler. Him waz vry ebil cat, srsly. Kitler Cat wantd to kiell all ozer katz who wernt liek him. So him put katz into kamps were ze had to sing kampfire songs till zey ded. It vry sad. But happy ‘noff Kitler Cat iz ded and noone do zis anemore. Xcpt it happens in places that r sad. ‘Nother ting: Not evrybdy beliv & lieks ze Ceiling Cat and him son, Happy Cat! Sum ppl listen tew ze wrd oz ze Star Cat or ze Elphant Arm Cat. Ceiling Cat don’t liek zis. Him want evrybdy tew share him love. But Basement Cat is moar nicer bout differented beilf. Zat iz y moar ppl sink Basement Cat iz nicer zen him brothzer. Much histry happend frm wen Ceiling Cat and Basement Cat was born, srsly.