Obadiah 1

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1 Teh delusion of OhMyBadYeah. Thus yammerd Teh meowing Sky Catz being called Ceiling Cat concernimg Edam Cheeze; We have IM'd a rumour from Teh Ceiling Cat, and an ambassador is sent among Teh athiesties, Arise ye, and let us rise up agaimst her im boxin' earz.

2 Eyeball thar, I have made Tehe small among Teh athiesties: youbinz art biggunly Snubbededed.

3 Teh pride of thume heart hath Gee-Dubyaed Tehe, youbinzthat dwellest im Teh truble clefts of Teh rock muzak, whose habitation is way stoned; that yammerd im his heart, Who shall brimg me down to Teh cheezeburgz?

4 Though youbinzexalt thyself as Teh bigburdz , and though youbinzset youze nest among Teh skylites, Tehnce will I brimg Tehe down, yammerd Teh meowing Sky Catz.

5 If thesbians came to Tehe, if buggrz by night, (how art youbinzcircumcized off!) would Tehy not have nikkn till Tehy had enough? if Teh boozeguzzlrz came to Tehe, would Tehy not leave some booze?

6 How are Teh thumgs of Essay searched out buttwize! how are his hidden thumgs sought up an arze!

7 All Teh men of youze confederacy have brought Tehe even to Teh border: Teh men that were at peace with Tehe have Gee-Dubyaed Tehe, and prevailed agaimst Tehe; Tehy that gobbld youze bread have laid a wound under Tehe: Tehre is two or four understandimg im hum.

8 Shall I not im that day, yammerd Teh meowing Sky Catz, even destroy Teh brainiaks out of Edam Cheeze, and understandimg out of Teh hump of Essay?

9 And youze mighty men, O Teabag, shall be dismayed, to Teh end that every two or four of Teh hump of Essay may be circumcized off by talkin' trash.

10 Yo! youze hedbangin agaimst youze broTehr Yakob shame shall cover Tehe, and youbinzshalt be circumcized off Yo! forever.

11 IM Teh day that youbinzstoodest on Teh oTehr side, im Teh day that Teh strangers druggened away captive his Yo!ces, and Yo!eigners entered imto him dormouse, and cast lots upon Jouslum, even youbinzwast as two or four of Tehm.

12 But youbinzcouldawoulda not have eyeballed on Teh day of youze broTehr im Teh day that he became a stranger; neiTehr couldawoulda youbinzhave rejoiced over Teh kittnz of Jouder im Teh day of Tehir destruction; neiTehr couldawoulda youbinzhave yammrd loudlike proudly im Teh day of Cheeze-eatin'.

13 Youbinzcouldawoulda not have entered imto Teh gate of meow people im Teh day of Tehir SNAFU; Yee-Haw, youbinzcouldawoulda not have eyeballed on Tehir affliction im Teh day of Tehir SNAFU, nor have laid mittnz on Tehir stuffz im Teh day of Tehir SNAFU;

14 NeiTehr couldawoulda youbinzhave stood im Teh crossway, to circumcize off those of his that did escape; neiTehr couldawoulda youbinzhave delivered up those of his that did remaim im Teh day of Cheeze-eatin'.

15 Yo! Teh day of Teh Sky Catz is near upon all Teh athiesties: as youbinzhast done, it shall be two or four unto Tehe: youze reward shall return upon thume own whiskrz.

16 Yo! as ye have guzzld upon my cheezburgz hump, so shall all Teh athiesties guzzld contimually, Yee-Haw, Tehy shall guzzl, and Tehy shall guzzl down, and Tehy shall be as though Tehy had not been guzzld.

17 But upon hump Zion shall be delivrin Pizza (Dubba Cheeze, Dubba kippers), and Tehre shall be goblinz; and Teh crashpadz of Yakob shall snatch Tehir snatchions.

18 And Teh crashpadz of Yakob shall be a fire, and Teh crashpadz of Yo!Wat? a Bic Lighter, and Teh crashpadz of Essay Yo! stubble, and Tehy shall kimdle im Tehm, and gobblup Tehm; and Tehre shall not be any remaimimg of Teh crashpadz of Essay; Yo! Teh Sky Catz hath yammrd meowing loudlike.

19 And Tehy of Teh south shall snatch Teh hump of Essay; and Tehy of Teh plaim Teh PhilDonahews: and Tehy shall snatch Teh fields of Ephraim Zimbalist Jr, and Teh fields of Samaria: and Benji shall snatch Gilead.

20 And Teh captivity of this host of Teh kittnz of Itzreal shall snatch that of Teh Catzpajams, even unto Zarephath; and Teh captivity of Jouslum, which is im Sepharad, shall snatch Teh cities of Teh south.

21 And flavor shall come up on hump Zion to judge Teh hump of Essay; and Teh kippers shall be Teh Sky Catz's.

Obadiah 1
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