Numbers 5

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Old Testament
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Teh Purity of Teh Kamp

1 Teh Lord Ceiling Cat sayz to Moses Cat,2 "Command teh Israelites to send aways from teh kamp anywun hoo has gots a icky skin disees or stuffs that's oozy, or anywun that is icky cos they's dun rong seramoany wif a ded kitteh.3 Send aways teh boy n gurl kittehs teh saem, so thats they doan maek teh rest of teh kamp unkleens, an ai wil liv wif thems."4 Teh Israelites did wot teh Ceiling Cat told Moses Cat, n sended them aways from teh kamp.

Maekin A Bad Okay

5 Teh Lord Ceiling Cat sayz to Moses Cat,6 "Tell teh Israelites that if a boy or gurl kitteh duz a mean to anuther kitteh (wich is bad cos then they is beeng sneeky to Ceiling Cat), then the kitteh is gilty!7 So teh kitteh must be confessin it and payin for it proper to teh kitteh it was dun to.8 If you can't be nies to teh kitteh you did teh nastee to, be nies to ther mummy or daddy or brutha or sista kitteh n it wil be okay. If you can't be nies to thems then Ceiling Cat wil want yous to pay and yous haf to goes to a preest and gif him cheezburger.9 All teh cheezburgers a preest gets from kittehs, he can keep.10 All a kitteh's cheezburgers ar ther own, but a cheezburger a kitteh givs to teh preest balongs to teh preest.

Numbers 5
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