From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
3 so Moses was laik, "Giv teh d00dz laik bfgs n chainsaws n stuf 2 pwn teh lamzor midianites for Ceiling Cat."4 "Send laik i dunno 1K d00dz to fite frm each of teh crewz of Israel."5 So laik 12K d00dz has power-ups 2 100%, laik 1K frm each crew in Israel.6 Moses was laik gtfo n fite ffs, so laik 1K from each crew, w/ Phinehas son of Eleazar, teh preest, who took laik holy stuf w/ him frm church n signal trumpets.
7 They fited at Midian, as Ceiling Cat tol Moses, and pwned al teh d00dz.8 Som of teh pwnd d00dz was Evi, Rekem, Zur, Hur and Reba—the five laik hed d00dz of Midian. They also pwned Balaam son of Beor with lvl 141 Blade of Savagery.9 Teh Israelites yoinked all teh Midianite women and goatz and stuf.10 Tehy burns all teh towns n stuf wtf.11 Tehy takes all teh booty + teh ppl n goatz,12 Tehy brings all teh booty + teh ppl n goatz 2 Moses and Eleazar teh priest n teh Israelites @ teh camp on teh planes of Moab, by the Jordan cros from Jericho.
15 N moses was laik, "has sav teh chiks?"16 "check it, tohse chiks gived teh clap to Ceiling Cat's ppl wtf"17 "K, so kil teh n00b lttl boyz 2 deth, n kil al teh sluts taht has secks w/ d00dz. DO NOT WANT"18 "But teh lttl girlz taht has no secks w d00dz can liv so u can has pedo secks w tehm n stuf cuz Ceiling Cat is pedo." nfw
21 Then Eleazar the priest was laik, "Ceiling Cat sez if duz not burn, cleen w/ fire. If burns, put on perma pres cycle, fluf dry.22 Gold, silver, bronze, iron, tin, lead,23 N stuf taht burns, put in fire 2 cleen.24 Day 7, wash ur close and u does not smel. Now U can come bak 2 camp 4 cheesburger."
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