Numbers 3

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Old Testament
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Teh Levi catz

1 Oh hai, iz teh papr telling teh family of Airon an Mosez at teh tiem Ceiling Cat sezors sumthin wif Mosez in Mount S1nai.

2 Airon can has boy kittenz who iz Nadab, Abihu, Elizar and Isamar.3 Wuz teh namez of teh boys of Airon, who r ordayns 2 b teh preests.4 Nadab and Abihu wuz howevr lazer pwnz0red when them made fier dat Ceiling Cat DO NOT WANT in teh sand feild of S1nai. Both can has no boys, so only teh 2 wuz preests during live of Airon.

5 Ceiling Cat sez to Moses,

6 Go gets teh kittenz of Levi and get them 2 halp Aaron cuz Aaron's like HALP!7 They has gots 2 do teh duties of teh tabernacle. k?8 They has gots 2 takes cares of teh furnishings of teh Tent of Teh Meeting. srsly.9 So give teh Levites 2 Aaron and his boy kittenz cuz they b his.10 Aaron and his boy kittenz r teh preests. Any1 else hoo gos near teh santuary is gonna get PWNED.

11 Teh Lord also sayz 2 Moses,12 I Haz Levites! Teh Levites r mine!13 I Haz Firstborn! Teh firstborn r mine! Cuz I PWNED teh firstborn in Egypt.

14 Teh Lord sayz 2 Moses in teh sandbox of S1nai,15 Count teh Levites by they're kitties and clanz. k? srsly. Count all teh boy LOLcats 1 month old oar more.16 So Moses Cat counts teh kitties.

17 These r teh boy kittenz of Levi: Gershon, Kohath, and Merari.18 These r teh names of teh Gershonite clanz: Libni and Shimei.19 Teh Kohathite clanz: Amram, Izhar, Hebron, and Uzziel.20 Teh Merarite clanz: Mahli and Mushi. These wer teh Levite clanz, accordin' 2 there famleez.

21 2 Gershon belongin' teh clanz of teh Libnites and Shomeites.22 There wer 7500 male kitties 1 month old oar more.23 Teh Gershonite klanz camped on teh west, bhind teh tabernacle, k? Teh west side. srsly.24 Teh leader of teh Gershonites waz Eliasaph, teh kitty of Lael.25 At teh Tent of Teh Meeting, teh Gershonites had gots to takes cares of teh tarbacle, teh tent, teh coverings, teh curtain, and teh entrance. k? srsly.26 o and also teh courtyard curtains and teh entrance curtains and teh ropes and all teh otha stuff. srsly.

27 2 Kohath belongded teh klanz of teh Amramites, teh Izharites, teh Hebronnites, and teh Uzzielites. k? srsly.28 Teh numba of all teh male kittenz 1 month old oar more was 86,000. The Kohathites had gots to takes cares of teh sancutary. srsly.29 Teh Kohathite klanz kamped on teh south side of teh tabernacle. k? Teh south side. srsly.30 Teh leeder of teh Kohathites was Elizaphan, teh kitty of Uzziel.31 They were responsiple 4 teh teh arc, teh table, teh lampstand, teh altars, teh articles of teh sanctuary, teh curtain, an all teh otha stuff. srsly.32 Teh cheef leeder of teh Levites was Eleazar, teh kitty of Aaron Cat, hoo was teh preest. He was in charge of those kittenz hoo were in charge of teh sanctuary. k?

33 2 Merari belongin' teh klanz of teh Mahlites and teh Mushites. srsly.34 Teh numba of all teh boy kittenz 1 month old oar more was 6200. srsly.35 Teh leeder of teh famleez of teh Merarite klanz was Zuriel teh kitty of Abihail. They had gots to kamp on teh north side of teh tabernacle.36 Teh Merarites had gots 2 takes cares of teh fames, and teh crossbars, and teh posts, and teh bases, and teh equipment, and teh all teh otha stuff. k? srsly.37 o and also teh courtyard posts and teh courtyard bases and teh tent pegs and teh ropes. k?

38 Moses Cat and Aaron Cat and all they're kittenz had gots 2 camp on teh east side of teh tabernacle, in frontz of teh Tent of Teh Meeting. They were responsiple 4 teh care of teh tabernacle on bhalf of teh Israelites. Any1 hoo approached teh sanctuary got PWNED.

39 Teh total number of teh Levi Cats 1 month old oar more waz 22,000.40 Teh Lord sayz 2 Moses Cat, "Count all of teh firstborn boy kittenz 1 month old oar more and makes teh list of they're names.41 Take teh Levi Cats 4 me in places of all teh firstborn kittenz of teh Israelites, and teh livestock of teh Levi Catz in places of all teh firstbon of teh livestock of teh Israelites.

42 So Moses Cat counteds teh firstborn of teh Israelites.43 Teh total numba of teh firstborn boy kittenz 1 month old oar more waz 22,273.

44 Teh Lord also sayz to Moses Cat,45 Take teh Levi Cats in places of all teh firstborn of Israel, and teh livestock of teh Levi Catz in places of they're livestock. I Has Levites! The Levi Cats r mine!46 2 redeem teh 273 firstborn Israelites hoo exceed teh numba of teh Levi Cats,47 collets 5 shekels 4 each 1, accordings 2 teh sanctuary shekel, which wais 20 gerahs.48 Give teh moneez 4 teh redemption of teh extras Israelites 2 Aaron Cat and his kittenz.

49 So Moses Cat collectedz teh redemption moneez.50 From teh firstborn of teh Israelites he collectedz 1365 shekels of silver, accordings 2 teh sanctuary shekel.51 Moses Cat gave teh redemption moneez 2 Aaron Cat and his kittenz, just as he waz commandedz 2 do.

Numbers 3
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