From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
1 Teh grlz of Zelophehad boy of Hepher, teh boy of Gilead, teh boy of Makir, teh boy of Manasseh, belonged to teh clanz of Manasseh boy of Joseph. Teh namez of teh girlz were Mahlah, Noah (Noah's a grl???), Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah. They went to2 teh teh sofa wher be sitten Moses Cat, Eleazar teh preest, and all reel l33t ppl, dey said,3 "Are dad went "FAIL!" in teh desert. (iz not pei iz liek big littah box) He was not Korah's ppl, they tried to pwn CeilingCat, but he crashed coza invisible error and had no boyz.4 How comes it all stuff goes coz dad has no boyz? DOES WANT hoos and landz and stuff for family, yes??? kthx"5 So Moses Cat rang up CeilingCat.6 and CeilingCat sayz,7 What Zelophebad's girlz r saying is rite. U must certainly give them property as an inheritence among there father's relatives and turn there father's inheritance over 2 them.8 Say 2 teh Israelites,'If a man dies and leaves no son, turn his inheritance over 2 his daughter.9 If he haz know daughters, than give his inheritance over 2 his bros.10 If he haz know bros, than give his inheritance 2 his uncles.11 If he haz no uncles, than just give his inheritance 2 teh closest relative in his clan. This is a legal requirement among teh Israelites, as teh LORD commanded Moses Cat.'"
I Can Has Joshua???
12 Then teh LORD sayz 2 Moses Cat, "Go up this mountain in the Abarim range and sea teh land I have given 2 teh Israelites.13 After u have seen it, u 2 will be gathered 2 ur peeps, as ur bro Aaron waz14 4 when teh community rebelled at teh waterz in teh Desert of Zin, both of u disobeyed my command 2 honor me as holy b4 there eyes." (These were teh waters of Meribah Kadesh, in teh Desert of Zin.)15 Moses Cat sayz 2 teh LORD,16 "May teh LORD, teh God of all teh spirits of all humanz, appoint a leeder over this here community.17 2 go out and cum in b4 them, 1 who will leed them out and bring them in, so teh LORD's peeps will not be like sheep without a shepherd."18 So teh LORD sayz 2 Moses, "U can haz Joshua, son of Nun, as ur leeder. Lay ur hand on him.19 Have him stand b4 Eleazar teh preest and teh entire assembly and commission him in there presents.20 Give him sum of ur authority so teh whole Israelite community will obey him.21 He is 2 stand b4 Eleazar teh preest, who will obtain decisionz 4 him b4 teh LORD. At his commandz he and teh entire community of teh Israelites will go out and at his commandz the y will cum in.22 Moses Cat did as teh LORD commanded him. He took Joshua and had him stand b4 Eleazar teh preest and teh hole assembly.23 Then he layed his hands on him and commissioned him, as teh LORD instructed thru Moses Cat.
|← Previous||Next →||← Previous||Next →|
|Leviticus||Deuteronomy||Numbers 26||Numbers 28|