From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
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|Leviticus||Deuteronomy||Numbers 19||Numbers 21|
Watur From teh Pebbul
1 Izrealites coemed to teh Sandbox of Zin an tooked catnaps in Kadesh. Wuz sad tho, cuz Miriam dieded and gots bureid.
2 Dere wuz no watur for teh Izrealites and dem gots angured at Moses an Aaron.3 Dem had catfight wif Moses and sayed, "Wez shuld haz died wif our kittehs in eyez of Ceiling Cat!4 Whyz yu bringed uz to teh Sandbox to diez wif our aminalz?5 Whyz yu taked uz from Egypts for uz to dis bads place? It haz no cheezburger an stuffs!"
6 Moses an Aaron went byez from meeting an felled on floor an Ceiling Cat showd up.7 Ceiling Cat sayed to Moses,8 Oh hai, take dis stick an yu an yur kitteh Aaron go an makes meeting. Speakz to teh pebbul and make it givez yu waturz. Give teh waturz to teh Izrealites for dem an dem animalz."
9 Moses sayed bai to Ceiling Cat an maed meeting.10 Him an Aaron did meeting in fronts of pebbul an sayed to dem, "Hear, yu bad kittehs, we bringz watur out of pebbul!"11 Den Moses smack pebbul wiv stick an waturz caemed out an teh Izrealites drank.
12 But Ceiling Cat got angured at Moses an Aaron an sayed, "Yuz didz not trusted meh enuf to callz me good in frontz of teh Izrealites. Cuz of dis, yuz not takez dem to teh place I givez."
13 Des wur teh waturz of Meribah where teh Izrealites fighted wif Ceiling Cat an him showd himself can be specialz.
Edom No Givez Izreal Passage
14 Moses sended messengerz to teh King of Edom and dem sayed to teh King:
15 "Dis be wat yur brothur Izreal say: Yu knowz teh bad stuffs wat happen to uz. Uz daddehs goed to Egypt, buts dem been badz to uz.16 Den uz talkd to Ceiling Cat an he sendz Wingcat an takez uz out of Egypt.
17 Now wez in Kadesh. Iz town on edgez of yur Kingdom. Pleez let uz pass throo. Wez not throo any of teh plant yards an not drinkz from teh watur in yur water bowlz. Wez not go any wai but teh road wai."
18 But Edom sayed: "Yuz cannotz pass. If yuz triez to walks throo wez attack yuz wif clawz."
18 And Izreal sayed back: "Wez go on big road. If we drinks yur waturz wez pay for it. Wez only wantz to pass throo."
21 Dem Izrealites goed to Big Rock Hor.22 At teh Big Rock, close to Edom, Ceiling Cat speekz to Moses an Aaron,23 Ai takez Aaron from yu an him not entur teh landz Ai givez yuz. Him beened bad at teh Waturz of Meribah"24 Getz Aaron and him kitteh, Eleazar an take dem to teh Big Rock Hor.25 Stealz Aaronz fur and givez it to him kitteh tp putz on. Him gonna die dere."
26 Moses didz as teh Ceiling Cat sayed: Dem wented to Big Rock Hor an teh Izrealites saw dem.27 Moses tooked him fur and putted dem on him kitteh Eleazar. Den Aaron died on teh Big Rock an Moses an Eleazar went bai from Big Rock.28 When teh Izrealites knowed dat Aaron died, dem wuz sad for a month an gotz teh depression.