Numbers 11

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Old Testament
Ceiling Cat pwns teh peepul wif firez

1 The peepul was laik, “Noes!” , so Ceiling Cat was laik "u is being consumed by fire".2 Moses was laik "Oh noes! Does not want!", so Ceiling Cat was making fire go away.3 And that place is being called "Taberah", cos Ceiling Cat is making fires there.

Birdies from Ceiling Cat

4 The peepul was laik "We can has cheezburger?"5 "There was being much cheezburger in teh Egypt!"6 "Now we has no cheezburger. Only is manna!"

7 Teh manna was being like coriander or resin.8 Teh peepul was gathering teh manna and squashin it. They was makin it into teh cakes and it was being oily.9 Manna was coming with teh invisible water in teh nights.

10 Moses was hearing teh families sayin "Does not want!" at their doors. Ceiling Cat was laik "RAWR" and Moses was laik "Oh noes!".11 Moses was laik "Ceiling Cat, why u is mean to me? Wut has i dun?"12 "Is they mai peepul? Is i their doctor?"13 "Where is cheezburger? They is saying 'We can have cheezburger?' to me"14 "They is too heavy for me."15 "If u is makin me do this, i wants die."

16 Ceiling Cat is laik "Bring me ur elders".17 "I'm in ur tent, putting spirit on ur elders. They will be halping u." 18 "Sai to them 'Be prepared, for tomorrow u can has cheezburger. Ceiling Cat is hearing u, and u is having cheezburger.' Srsly."19 "U won't be eatin it for jus one dayz or two dayz or three dayz or a meellian beelian dayz."20 "U will be eatin it for a hole monthz, til it b comin out of ur nostrilz and u will b hatin itz. Cos u wer meen to Ceiling Cat and miowed at him all laik 'Why wuz we leavin Egypt!'"

21 Moses wuz laik "I gots a meelian beelian peepuls here and u is sayin 'I can gives them cheezburger for a month'!"22 "All teh cheezburger in t"h urfs iz not enuf. All teh fishies in teh sees is not enuf."

23 Ceiling Cat wuz laik "Is my feets too short?!?!?! U will see wut i cans do."

24 Moses told teh peepul wut Ceiling Cat sed. He fetchted seventy clever kittehs nd they standed in teh tent.25 Then Ceiling Cat wuz flyin on his fluffy cloud, down to teh tent. He taked his fur nd put it on teh kittehs and they wuz knowin wut didn't happen yet!

26 But two kittehs called Eldad and Medad (theys not reely my daddy) stayed in teh camp place. They were clever kittehs but they didn't go to teh tents. But they gots Ceiling Cat's fur az well and they know wut didn't happen yet too!!27 A baby kitteh sed to Moses "Eldad and Medad are sayin teh futurs in teh camp!"

28 Joshie, Nun's baby, hu wuz Moses' friend, wuz laik "U must b stoppin them!"

29 But Moses sed "RU jellus for me? I want all teh peepul to have Ceiling Cat's fur and be speekin teh futurs!"30 So Moses and teh clever kittehs goed back to teh camps.

31 Ceiling Cat blowed vewy vewy hard and teh birdies got blowed from the see (they were flyin, not swimmin). Teh birdies fell down in teh camp and there wuz so many they wuz deeper than a kitteh!32 Teh peepul picked up teh birdies all day and all nite. They picked up lotsa lotsa lotsa birdies! They putted them all round teh camps.33 But wen they wuz eatin teh birdies and it wuz in their tooths Ceiling Cat wuz vewy angry. Oh noes! He maded teh peepul vewy ill and ded.34 So that place wuz called "Kibrot Hataava", cuz there wuz teh peepul hu wanted cheezburger and is ded.

35 From Kibrot Hataava teh peepul (not teh ded peepul) goed to Hazerot and stayded there.

Numbers 11
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