Nehemiah 3

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Old Testament

1 Then teh high priest-kitteh Eliashib and his litter wuz in teh Sheep Gate and builded it; they prayed at it and hooked up teh doorz; they even prayed at the towers of Meaw and of Hananeel, for no more laz0rz or burninating!

2 And next to those kittehs were teh kittehs from Jericho and also Zaccur the son of Imri wuz buildeding real hard, too.

3 But teh kittehs of Hassenaah builded teh FISH! Gate wif beams from teh woodz and they hooked up teh doorz and they put on locks and bars, to keep bad kittehs out, no FISH! for them.

4 And a bunch of other kittehs wuz working real hard, too, and fixing stuffs and working, and I can't remember dere names, 'cuz no collars and tags. Plus dere names wuz kinda funny sounding.

5 And teh Tekoite kittehs were fixing real hard, too; but some of them found some katnip and string and went and did lolzstuff and didn't do any work for Ceiling Cat, like it was Caturday (but it weren't).

6 Jehoiada and Meshullam were two kittehs who wuz in teh Old Gate repairing it; they laid teh wood beams and hooked up teh doorz and they put on locks and bars.

7 And next to them wuz kittehs from Gibeon and Meronoth and Mizpah were also fixing stuffs, down to teh governor's window-seat on this side the river.

8 Next to them wuz Uzziel of the goldsmifs. Next to him Hananiah, the son of one of the apothekitties, also fixed stuffs, and they builded Jerusalem srsly big, down to teh big wall.

9 And next to them Rephaiah the son of Hurr fixed stuffs, and half the bases in Jerusalem belonged to his dad. No, rly.

10 And next to them Jedaiah the son of Harumaph fixed stuffs, like down near his house. And next to him Hattush the son of Hashabniah fixed stuffs too. But different stuffs.

11 Malchijah the son of Harim and Hashub the son of Pahathmoab fixed the other piece and teh tower of the furnaces, which is good, cuz kittehs NOT WANT cold.

12 And next to him Shallum the son of Halohesh (half of the bases in Jerusalem belonged to him, but the other half, not that first half, from before) fixed stuff, both boy-kittehs and girl-kittehs worked real hard.

13 Hanun, and teh kittehs from Zanoah fixed teh Valley Gate; they built it, and hooked up teh doorz and they put on locks and bars, and they worked from there to teh Poop Gate, which was a long way, which is good, cuz of teh stinky.

14 But Malchiah the son of Rechab, some of the bases in Bethhaccerem belonged to him, fixed teh Poop Gate; he built it, and hooked up teh doorz and he put on locks and bars. And he worked by himself, probably cuz of teh stinky.

15 But Shallun the son of Colhozeh (some of the bases of Mizpah belonged to him) fixed teh Fountain Gate ; he built it and put a top on, and hooked up teh doorz and he put on locks and bars, and he fixed the wall of the pool of Siloah next to the garden, and over to the stairs that go down from the city. Whew! He one hard workin' kitteh.

16 And Nehemiah the son of Azbuk (half the bases of Bethzur beloged to him) fixed stuff too, like the place over where David wuz buried, and to where the pool that wuz made, and to the house of the mighty.

17 Teh Levite kittehs like Rehum the son of Bani fixed stuffs and Hashabiah (half the bases of Keilah belonged to him) did, too.

18 And after that Bavai the son of Henadad (half the bases of Keilah belonged to him) and other kittehs fixed stuff, too.

19 And Ezer the son of Jeshua (all the base of Mizpah belonged to him) was next to him and he fixed down to the armoury, at the corner.

20 Baruch the son of Zabbai was srsly excited about fixing the other piece, from the corner to the door of Eliashib the high priest-kitteh's house.

21 Meremoth the son of Urijah the son of Koz wuz next and he fixed another piece, from the door of Eliashib's house all the way down to the end of his house.

22 And after that the other kitteh-priests and teh kittehs of the plain fixed stuffs.

23 And after that Benjamin and Hashub fixed stuff next to their house. Azariah the son of Maaseiah the son of Ananiah fixed stuff by his house, too.

24 And after that Binnui the son of Henadad fixed another piece, from Azariah's house down to the corner, even fixing the corner.

25 Palal the son of Uzai fixed stuff, from that corner, and the tower which comez out from teh king's big house, that wuz by teh kitteh-jail. Pedaiah the son of Parosh fixed some stuff, too.

26 The Nethinims lived in Ophel, down at the place over by teh Water Gate, on the east side, and the tower that comez out.

27 And after that the Tekoite kittehs fixed another piece, over by the great tower that comez out, even down to the wall of Ophel.

28 The priest-kittehs fixed stuff from above teh Horse Gate, mostly the stuff that was next to their house.

29 And after that Zadok the son of Immer fixed stuff next to his house. And after that Shemaiah the son of Shechaniah, the keeper of teh East Gate fixed stuff, too.

30 And after that Hananiah the son of Shelemiah, and Hanun the sixth son of Zalaph fixed another piece. And after that Meshullam the son of Berechiah fixed something next to his chamber.

31 And after that Malchiah the goldsmith's son fixed stuff down to where the Nethinims lived, and down to where the merchants lived, over against teh Miphkad Gate, and down to the corner.

32 And the goldsmiffs and the merchants fixed stuff from the corner down to teh Sheep Gate.

Nehemiah 3
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