Nehemiah 1

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Old Testament

1 Oh hai! Dis Nehemiah speakz u.2 Me litter-bro, Hanini, come an we tawk ov kittehz who scaped from cage.3 "Yo, kittehz scape but still loads trubble stuf an all citty iz broke an big fierz all ovr”.

4 I hear dis. I weeps. Dae aftur dae I eats no cheezburgers an prays to Ceiling Cat.5 Den I sai, "awsum Ceiling Cat dat luvs all kittehs who obey yew,6 see n hurr ur kitteh servnts prayin to yew (Teh people uv Izraelz). We'z sinnin. Sry.7 We run off an do lolzstuff that MosesKitteh sez "Oh noes - d00d - iz bad".8 'No forget wut u sai 2 Mosez, 'U do lolzstuff, den get no cheezburgers,

9 Howevur, U cum 2 meh again, I be givin u cheezburgers.'10 "Deez kittehs r ur kittehs dat u haz chozin bai ur paws.11 O Ceiling Cat, listn 2 ur kittehs, n giv dem cheezburgers plz. Kthnxbai." I be holdin kitteh bowls to Ceiling Cat.

Nehemiah 1
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