Nahum 2

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Old Testament
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Nineveh u iz goin to get pwned LOL

1 Nineveh, sunwun iz getting in ur baes, killin ur d00dz.
2 Ceiling Cat will fix up Jacob
to be cool liek Israel
evn tho teh enemi taered dem up
n evn messt up teh gardn.
3 Hiz d00dz haz red sheeldz
acshlly deyr warin all red;
dey haz shini chariotz
liek new
n speerz too. Not liek Britni I meenz reel speerz.
4 Teh streetz is full of chariotz
goin all ovr
liek firi torchiz
or maybi lietnin.
5 He summnz hiz d00dz
dey is fallin down LOL.
Dey runz to teh wall
n raiziz teh sheeldz.
6 Teh door opinz
an teh cassl fallz down LOL.
7 Teh citi haz to
be sent awai.
Teh slaev grlz iz all "O noes!"
Dey is upsetz.
8 Nineveh iz liek a bathtub
wif all teh watrz runnin out.
Evriwun iz all "Cut it outz"
but it duzint maek a differns.
9 Steal teh silvr!
An teh gold!
Derez plenty,
lotz n lotz!
10 All Niniveh's stuffz got taeknz.
Peepl doant feel so good.
Dey doant look so good neethr.
11 Whaer iz teh lion'z house now,
where deyr cubz eatd
an Mr. n Mrs. Lion wented
an all teh littl lionz?
12 Teh lion bringd hiz cubz cookies
n Mrs. Lion too,
n filled hiz house wif meat
n filled hiz house wif meat. (I iz repeetin maiself bcz itz poetri)
13 "U sux,"
sez Ceiling Cat.
"I wil set ur chariotz on fier
an kil ur lionz wif a sword.
Nuthin wil be left.
I wil evn maek ur messinjrz STFU."

Nahum 2
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Micah Habakkuk Nahum 1 Nahum 3
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